Oh, my Tatlanthe! Have you seen his face, His air, his shape, his mien, his ev'ry grace? In what a charming attitude he stands, How prettily he foots it with his hands! Well, to his arms--no, to his legs--I fly, For I must have him, if I live or die. Meanwhile, Bombardinian has invited the King to drink wine with him in his tent. The King accepts, but, not content with liquor, asks for something more substantial:-- Hold, Bombardinian, I esteem it fit, With so much wine, to eat a little bit. The cook suggests "some nice cold pork in the pantry," and is instantly slain by the irate monarch, who, deeming that Bombardinian is "braving" him, strikes him. Whereupon the General:-- A blow! shall Bombardinian take a blow? Blush! blush, thou sun! start back, thou rapid ocean! Hills! vales! seas! mountains! all commixing crumble, And into chaos pulverise the world; For Bombardinian has receiv'd a blow, And Chrononhotonthologos must die. [_They fight. He kills the king._ Ha! what have I done? Go, call a coach, and let a coach be call'd; And let the man that calls it be the caller; And, in his calling, let him nothing call, But coach, coach, coach! Oh, for a coach, ye gods! [_Exit, raving._ The doctor, pronouncing the king dead, is killed by the General, who then kills himself. The Queen mourns her widowhood, and Tatlanthe proposes that she should wed Rigdum-Funnidos. To this, however, Aldiborontiphoscophornio objects; and so, to save discussion, the Queen will give no preference to either:-- To make the matter easy, I'll have you both; and that, I hope, will please ye. Produced in 1734, "Chrononhotonthologos" was performed at intervals until 1815, when it was seen at Drury Lane, with Oxberry in the title-part and Dowton as the General. After that it remained out of the theatrical repertory until 1880, when Mr. John Hollingshead revived it, for one representation, at the Gaiety.[2] It is a slight piece of work, but contains some elements of comicality. It will always be esteemed by literary students, if only because the names of Rigdum-Funnidos and Aldiborontiphoscophornio struck the fancy of Sir Walter Scott, who bestowed them, in fun, upon the brothers Constable, the publishers. "Aldiborontiphoscophornio" is surely the perfection of mock-tragedy nomenclature.