"Aunt," said the girl, "I must say something. This is the second time
that this has happened. I am sure it is significant. James Lawlor was
with me in the sunken garden, and he began to speak about James
Hattersley. You know it was when we were talking about him last night
that I heard that awful noise. It was precisely as if a gun had been
discharged into my ear. I felt as if all the nerves and tissues of my
head were being torn, and all the bones of my skull shattered--just what
Mr. Hattersley must have undergone when he pulled the trigger. It was
an agony for a moment perhaps, but it felt as if it lasted an hour. Mr.
Lawlor had asked me point blank if James Hattersley had proposed to me,
and I said, 'No.' I was perfectly justified in so answering, because he
had no right to ask me such a question. It was an impertinence on his
part, and I answered him shortly and sharply with a negative. But
actually James Hattersley proposed twice to me. He would not accept a
first refusal, but came next day bothering me again, and I was pretty
curt with him. He made some remarks that were rude about how I had
treated him, and which I will not repeat, and as he left, in a state of
great agitation, he said, 'Julia, I vow that you shall not forget this,
and you shall belong to no one but me, alive or dead.' I considered this
great nonsense, and did not accord it another thought. But, really,
these terrible annoyances, this wind and the bursts of noise, do seem to
me to come from him. It is just as though he felt a malignant delight in
distressing me, now that he is dead. I should like to defy him, and I
will do it if I can, but I cannot bear more of these experiences--they
will kill me."
Several days elapsed.
Mr. Lawlor called repeatedly to inquire, but a week passed before Julia
was sufficiently recovered to receive him, and then the visit was one of
courtesy and of sympathy, and the conversation turned upon her health,
and on indifferent themes.
But some few days later it was otherwise. She was in the conservatory
alone, pretty much herself again, when Mr. Lawlor was announced.
Physically she had recovered, or believed that she had, but her nerves
had actually received a severe shock. She had made up her mind that the
phenomena of the circling wind and the explosion were in some mysterious
manner connected with Hattersley.
She bitterly resented this, but she was in mortal terror of a
recurrence; and she felt no compunction for her treatment of the
unfortunate young man, but rather a sense of deep resentment against
him. If he were dead, why did he not lie quiet and cease from vexing
her?
To be a martyr was to her no gratification, for hers was not a martyrdom
that provoked sympathy, and which could make her interesting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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