A book of martyrsComer, Cornelia A. P. (Cornelia Atwood Pratt)
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A book of martyrs
Comer, Cornelia A. P. (Cornelia Atwood Pratt)
American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
Good or bad, she knew little and cared less, this man had come from
that lost world of hers, as she was made aware by a thousand small
signs, whose very existence she had forgotten; and silently, fiercely
she claimed him as an equal.
“I--I too was--” Slow tears drowned the rest.
She could have told him how a _déclassée_ grows used to it. She knew
how the mind can adjust itself to any phase of experience, and had
learned that what woman has undergone, woman can undergo--yes, and be
strong about it. She knew how, under the impulse of necessity, the once
impossible grows to be the accepted life, and the food that could not
be swallowed becomes the daily bread.
When the struggle for existence becomes a hand-to-hand fight,
traditions of one’s ancestry do not matter, except, possibly, that
some traditions bind you to strength and silence, while others leave
you free to scream. She knew what it was to forget the past and ignore
the future, and survey the present with the single-hearted purpose of
securing three meals a day, if possible; two, if it were not.
She had forgotten with what facility she might the faces and scenes
that once were dear to her. She had nothing to do with them any longer,
as she knew. She might, perhaps, have heard their names without
emotion. But, even in this day and generation and among this democratic
people, in the soul of a woman bred as she had been the feeling for her
caste is the last feeling that dies. And to her anguish she found that
in her it was not yet dead.
The color died from the sky, and the stars came swiftly out.
She rose at last. It was time that she should be going. She stretched
out the tired arms upon which she had been lying, looked at the patient
hands which had long lost the beauty her face still kept, and lifted
her eyes to the solemn sky.
“I shall die some day,” she said, passionately. “No one can take that
away from me. Thank Heaven, it is not one of the privileges a woman
forfeits by marrying out of her station.”
Forbes stayed three days longer; restless, wretched days whenever
he thought of himself and his position; sunlit and serene whenever
his facile temperament permitted him to forget them. He felt that
he should be moving on, yet, having stopped, was at a loss how to
proceed. Staying or going seemed equally difficult and dangerous. He
had no precedents to guide his action. Nothing in his previous life
and training had ever fitted him to be a fugitive. He was, as he often
reminded himself, not a fugitive from justice, but from injustice;
which is quite another matter, but after all hardly more comfortable.
He began to suspect that he might have been a fool to come away, but
was too dazed to decide intelligently whether he should go forward or
back. He was still in this undecided frame of mind on the morning of
the third day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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