A Comic History of the United StatesHopkins, Livingston
History
A Comic History of the United States
Hopkins, Livingston
United States -- History -- Humor
Sketch No. 2 is of more recent origin, and was taken from our artist’s
window. When this picture was first drawn the Brooklyn pier of the
bridge was plainly discernible in the background. But since then our
landlord, who is a German, and conducts a restaurant on Teutonic
principles on the ground floor, has humanely run up a vent-pipe from his
kitchen opposite our window, which necessarily excludes the picturesque
ruin of the bridge from view. The reader will observe that nothing is
now visible but a tall square sheet iron tube and an overpowering sense
of garlic, which destroy at once our view and our appetite.
_CHAPTER X._
A FLOOD OF HISTORICAL LIGHT IS LET IN UPON NEW JERSEY—ABORIGINES—THE
FIRST BOARDING HOUSE—ORGAN-GRINDING AS A FINE ART.
Not many generations ago New Jersey was a buzzing wilderness—howling
would be a misnomer, as the tuneful mosquito had it all to himself.
“His right there was none to dispute.”
The tuneful mosquito was, in fact, your true New Jersey aboriginal, and
we do not hesitate to assert that the wilderness buzzed. But the time
came at last when the wilderness of New Jersey was to have something
else to do.
[Illustration]
In the year (confound it! what year was it now?) a select company of
colonists landed at Hoboken, led by one Philip Carteret. The latter
carried with him a large supply of agricultural implements to remind the
colonists that they must rely mainly upon the cultivation of cabbages,
and devote their energies more or less to the manufacture of Apple Jack
for their livelihood. But he soon saw his error, and immediately cabled
over for a supply of mosquito nets to instill into their minds the axiom
that “self-preservation is the first law of nature.”
Mr. Carteret opened a boarding house in Hoboken, to be conducted on
strictly temperance principles, and devoted his leisure to the
civilizing of the aborigines; but his efforts in this direction were
crowned with but partial success.
It is an historical, but not the less melancholy fact, that the
aboriginal inhabitants of any country become effete as civilization
advances. And thus it happens that, although the mosquito has been
handed down to us in modern times, we only behold him in a modified
form. That he has not yet entirely lost his sting, the compiler of this
work personally ascertained during a four years’ exile in Hoboken. For
all that the Jersey mosquito of to-day is but an echo, as it were, of
his ancestor of colonial times. How thankful should we be then that we
were not early settlers.
Hoboken is the capital of New Jersey, and is principally inhabited by
Italian barons in disguise, who consecrate their lives exclusively to
the study of that king of musical instruments, the barrel-organ.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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