A Comic History of the United StatesHopkins, Livingston
History
A Comic History of the United States
Hopkins, Livingston
United States -- History -- Humor
His mind, consequently, soared beyond the pale of mere existing facts
and circumstances, and sought to fold its eager pinions on lofty
roosting places yet undiscovered.
And thus it was, that, after revolving the matter in his mind for forty
years or more, Columbus arrived at the conclusion that the earth was
round, not flat, (as was the popular belief at that time,) and boldly
said so in round terms. People called him a lunatic, an original
character, and other harsh names, and otherwise pooh-pooh’d the idea.
But Columbus not only adhered to his theory, but went so far as to
assert that by sailing due west from Europe you would, if you kept on
sailing, bring up somewhere in eastern Asia.
[Illustration]
“Oh, come now, Christopher! really, this is going to far!” is what
public opinion said, and when our hero petitioned the Italian Congress
to fit out an expedition and let him prove his theory, it magnanimously
offered to set him up in business with a first-class barrel-organ and an
educated monkey cashier on condition of his leaving the country once for
all; but Columbus, expressing his regret for his lack of musical
ability, declined this generous offer and turned with a sigh to other
governments for assistance. Finally, after fifteen years of effort, he
succeeded in convincing Queen Isabella of Spain that there was an
undiscovered country beyond the seas, overflowing with milk and honey,
which it would be worth while to “work up.” He proved his theory with
the aid of an egg, (which he made stand on end,) an old Boston City
Directory, and a ground plan of Philadelphia, (see school books,) and
demonstrated to the good lady’s entire satisfaction that she might
realize largely by fitting out an expedition and let him at its head go
and discover it.
So conclusive were these arguments to the mind of Queen Isabella that
the good old soul allowed him to fit out an expedition at his own
expense, and gave him _carte blanche_ to discover America as much as he
wanted to. We have seen how well he succeeded. All this took place three
hundred and eighty-three years, four months, and five days ago, but it
seems to us but yesterday.
Ah! how time flies!
_CHAPTER III._
TREATS OF OTHER DISCOVERIES AND DOES GREAT CREDIT TO THE AUTHOR’S
SENSE OF JUSTICE.
On the return of Columbus to Spain, he published a map of his voyage in
one of the illustrated papers of the day. Through the courtesy of the
publishers of that paper we are enabled to place this map before our
readers.
[Illustration:
_MAP OF COLUMBUS ROUTE_
_DRAWN BY CHRIS HIMSELF_
]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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