English essays -- 20th century; English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Each morning a noise of poured-out water revived him from that state in
which his thoughts were occasionally irregular. Raising his face, with
its regular nose above a regular moustache just going grey, he asked the
time. Each morning he received the same answer, and would greet it with
a yawn. Without this opening to his day he would not have known for
certain that it had begun. Assured of the fact, he would leap from his
bed into his bath, and sponge himself with cold, clear water. “Straight
out of bed--never lose heat!” Such was his saying; and he would maintain
it against every other theory of the morning tub. It was his own
discovery--a fact on which, as on all facts, he set much store; and
every morning he kept his mind fixed on its value. Then, in that
underclothing, of which he said, “Never wear any other--lets the skin
act!” he would take his stand in a chosen light before a glass, dipping
in boiling water a razor on which was written the day’s name, and
without vanity inspect his face to see that it preserved its shade of
faintly mottled red against the encroachments of the town. Then, with a
slanting edge--“Always shave slanting”--he would remove such hairs as
seemed to him unnecessary. If he caught himself thinking, he would go to
a bottle on the washstand and pour out a little bitter water, which he
would drink; then, seizing a pair of Indian clubs, he would wave them.
“I believe in Indian clubs!” he often said. Tying his tie at the angle
he had tied it for nearly thirty years, and placing lavender water--the
only scent he ever used--about his handkerchief, he would open his
wife’s door, and say, “How are you, my dear?” Without waiting for an
answer he would shut it, and go down.
His correspondence was set out on his writing-table, and as he was not
a stupid man he soon disposed of it; then, with his daily paper--which
he had long selected out of every other--he would stand before the
hearth, reading, and believing that the news he read was of a definite
importance. He took care that this reading should not stimulate his
thoughts. He wanted facts, and the fact that the day’s facts were
swallowed by the morrow’s did not disturb him, for the more facts he
read the better he was pleased.
After his breakfast--eaten opposite his wife, and ended with some
marmalade--he would go forth at ten o’clock, and walk the two miles to
the Temple. He believed in walking, wet or fine, for, as he said: “It
keeps your liver acting!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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