English essays -- 20th century; English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
“Yes, yes, yes! You are one of those men that our customs breed. You had
no business to be born--or at any rate you should have seen to it that
you were born in the upper classes. What right had you to imagine you
could ever tackle the working-man’s existence--up to the mark all day
and every day? You, a man with a soft spot? You knew, or your parents
ought to have known, that you couldn’t stand more than a certain
pressure from life. You are diseased, if not physically, then in your
disposition. Am I to excuse you because of that? Most probably I should
be the same if life pressed hard enough. Am I to excuse myself because
of that? Never--until it happens! Being what you are you chose
deliberately--or was it chosen for you--to run the risks of being born;
and now you complain of the consequences, and come to me for help? To
me--who may myself at some time be in need, if not of physical, of moral
bread? Is it right, or reasonable?”
“I am a lost dog.”
“You are getting on my nerves! Your chin is weak--I can see that through
your beard; your eyes are wistful, not like the professional beggar’s
pebbly eyes; you have a shuffling walk, due perhaps a little to the
nature of your boots; yes, there are all the marks of amiability about
you. Can you look me in the face and say it would be the slightest use
to put you on your legs and thrust you again, equipped, into the ranks
of battle? Can you now? Ah! if you could only get some food in you, and
some clothes on you, and some work to do! But don’t you know that, three
weeks hence, that work would be lost, those clothes in pawn, and you be
on the drink? Why should I waste my charity on _you_--‘the deserving’
are so many! There’s ‘something against you’ too? Oh! nothing
much--you’re not the sort that makes a criminal; if you were you would
not be in such a state. You would be glad enough to do your fellows a
good turn if ever you could do a good turn to yourself; and you are not
ungrateful, you would attach yourself to any one who showed you
kindness. But you are hopeless, hopeless, hopeless--aren’t you now?”
“I am a lost dog.”
“You know our methods with lost dogs? Have you never heard of the lethal
chamber? A real tramp, living from hand to mouth in sun and rain and
dirt and rags, enjoys his life. But _you_ don’t enjoy the state you’re
in. You’re afraid of the days when you’ve nothing to eat, afraid of the
nights when you’ve nowhere to sleep, afraid of crime, afraid even of
this begging; twice since we’ve been standing here I’ve seen you looking
round. If you knew you’d be afraid like this, what made you first desert
‘the narrow path’? Something came over you? How could you let it come
like that? It still comes over you? You were tired, you wanted something
new--something a little new. We all want that something, friend, and get
it if we can; but we can’t recognise that _your_ sort of human creature
is entitled, for you see what’s come of it?”
“I am a lost dog.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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