A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour CarHowells, William Dean
General
A Counterfeit Presentment; and, The Parlour Car
Howells, William Dean
American drama -- 19th century; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
_Bartlett_, forcing an imbecile smile.--"Nothing, I was just thinking--I
should--like to venture to make a remark."
_Constance._--"You _know_ I wish you to speak to me about everything."
_Bartlett._--"Did you mean that lady to be in the middle distance?"
_Constance._--"Yes."
_Bartlett._--"Well, there is a slight, a very slight, error in the
perspective. She is as tall as Ponkwasset, you see, and could touch the
top of it with the point of her parasol."
_Constance_, dejectedly.--"I see. I can never do it."
_Bartlett._--"Oh, yes, you can, Miss Wyatt; you mustn't lose patience
with me."
_Constance._--"It's you who won't be able to keep your patience with my
stupidity."
_Bartlett._--"That's not the name for it. I shall think more of your
failures than of anybody's successes--that _is_--I mean--if you don't
let this thing be a pain instead of a pleasure to you. Remember, I hoped
it would amuse you."
_Constance._--"Oh, yes. You have been only too kind, in that and
everything."
_Bartlett._--"Well, now, let us begin again. This lady is very well as
a lady; you understand the figure better than perspective; but she's out
of place here, a little; and a flower out of place, you know, is a weed.
Suppose we"--he takes up the charcoal, and makes a few dashes at the
canvas--"treat her as a clump of tall birch-trees,--that clump over
there in the edge of the meadow; that will bring her into the
foreground, and entitle her to be three inches high; we can't really
allow her more, even as a clump of birches. Eh?"
_Constance._--"Oh, yes; that's better, decidedly." Smiling: "Being under
instruction, this way, makes me think of my school-days."
_Bartlett_, impressively.--"I hope they were happy days."
_Constance._--"Oh, the happiest of my life."
_Bartlett._--"I am _so_ glad." Constance stares at him in surprise, but
finally says nothing. "I mean since this is like them."
_Constance_, pensively.--"Yes, it's pleasant to go back to that time."
With more animation: "Papa, I wonder if you remember Madame Le May, who
used to teach me French when you came home after the war?"
_General Wyatt_, behind his newspaper.--"Eh? What? What's that? Some
difficulty in the drawing? You must both have patience,--patience"--
_Constance._--"Why, papa! Oh, well, I won't worry him. I suppose he's
found something about cutting down the army appropriations; that always
absorbs him. What shall I try next, Mr. Bartlett?"
_Bartlett._--"You can rub in your middle distance."
_Constance_, laughing.--"I'll try. But I think I should be at my best
beyond the vanishing point."
_Bartlett._--"Oh, I don't believe _that_! Perhaps it annoys you to have
me looking over your shoulder while you work?"
_Constance._--"No. Oh, no."
_Bartlett._--"I see that it does."
_Constance._--"It makes me a little nervous. I'm afraid of you, you
know."
_Bartlett._--"I didn't know I was so terrible. How far off shall I go,
to be agreeable?"
_Constance_, laughing.--"Across the room."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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