A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One Act — John Shaqi
A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One ActOxenford, John
General
A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One Act
Oxenford, John
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
_MRS. CHARGELY'S Garden.--At the back of stage a high wall; to the
R. 3 E. part of the house, with door and practicable window.--Dark._
_Enter BOLT, from back, R._
BOLT. Egad, I've succeeded in concealing myself among the statues and
the shrubs, &c. I wish that wall was not so devilish high, and that
gate not quite so firmly fastened. I wonder where Bobby is.
MIZ. (_Still in cloak and bonnet, looking out of window, R. 3 E._)
Charley, is that you?
BOLT. Yes; how snug you look, up there!
MIZ. How do you like your day's pleasure?
BOLT. Amazingly! It is a spicy sort of pleasure--keeps one awake. I
told you we should have something to laugh at.
MIZ. Yes, the wrong side of our mouths. If ever I do go out with you
again!
_Enter CUTAWAY, with ladder, L. U. E. BOLT steps back._
CUT. Fortune favours the bold. This is an unexpected prize--found it in
the knife room--and the dear creature at yonder window, she shall
descend: then we'll over the wall.--By-the-by, I wonder what has become
of that inefficient representation of myself.--Harriet!
MIZ. Hilloa! you there!
CUT. There she is, beautiful as ever.
BOLT. (_Aside._) True,--all cats are alike in the dark.
CUT. Come to the arms of your ever-faithful Cutaway.
MIZ. You make me blush.
CUT. I have a ladder, dearest; will you descend it?
MIZ. I believe you, I will;--Come, look alive!--put it up!
CUT. Her every word inspires confidence.
BOLT. (_Aside._) An unconscious auxiliary.
CUTAWAY. (_Puts ladder against window, R. 3 E._) Descend, dearest,
descend; and take care of the water-butt;--do not, star as you are, set
in the ocean. (_MIZZLE descends._)--Now let's away!
MIZ. Stay, my bundle! oh, my bundle!
CUT. What bundle, sweetest?
MIZ. A bundle I have left; so do you bundle up the ladder and get it.
CUT. Your desires are commands, lovely one.--She is hoarse;--caught
cold, poor thing. (_Ascends ladder and goes in at window._)
BOLT. I say, Bob, what did you send him in there for?
MIZ. Why the cursed officers are breaking open the door. I heard them;
so I gave him for a sop--Ha! ha! ha!
BOLT. Ha! ha! ha! poor devil! Now away with the ladder to the garden
wall. (_MIZZLE plants ladder against wall, L._) Now we'll ascend, and
drop on the other side.
CUT. (_At window, R._) Harriet! Harriet, my love! I can find no
bundle.
MIZ. Can't you? then here is one for you. (_Takes off cloak and
bonnet--wraps bonnet in cloak, and throws them in window._)
CUT. A man! duped--cheated!
BOLT. Up the ladder, Bobby, my boy!
MIZ. Yes, we are off!--The devil take the hindmost--Good by, my own
true love.
CUT. (_Feeling about._) The ladder, where is the ladder?
(_A crash is heard in the house, as of a door breaking.--Officers
appear at window.--Exeunt over wall.--The ladies scream.--Scene
closes_)
SCENE VIII.
_Outside of Shop.--Shop shut up, with "Cotton, hosier, &c." written on
it.--The shop door to open.--Stage dark._
_Enter BOLT and MIZZLE._
BOLT. Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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