Or something of that sort,--but, no more to bore ye With character-painting, I’ll turn to my story. Now, Apollo, who finds it convenient sometimes To get his court clear of the makers of rhymes, The _genus_, I think it is called, _irritabile_, Every one of whom thinks himself treated most shabbily, And nurses a--what is it?--_immedicabile_, Which keeps him at boiling-point, hot for a quarrel, As bitter as wormwood, and sourer than sorrel, If any poor devil but look at a laurel;-- Apollo, I say, being sick of their rioting (Though he sometimes acknowledged their verse had a quieting Effect after dinner, and seemed to suggest a Retreat to the shrine of tranquil siesta), Kept our Hero at hand, who, by means of a bray, Which he gave to the life, drove the rabble away; And if that wouldn’t do, he was sure to succeed, If he took his review out and offered to read; Or, failing in plans of this milder description, He would ask for their aid to get up a subscription, Considering that authorship wasn’t a rich craft, To print the “American drama of Witchcraft.” “Stay, I’ll read you a scene,”--but he hardly began, Ere Apollo shrieked “Help!” and the authors all ran: And once, when these purgatives acted with less spirit, And the desperate case asked a remedy desperate, He drew from his pocket a foolscap epistle As calmly as if ’twere a nine-barrelled pistol, And threatened them all with the judgment to come, Of “A wondering Star’s first impressions of Rome.” “Stop! stop!” with their hands o’er their ears, screamed the Muses, “He may go off and murder himself, if he chooses, ’Twas a means self-defence only sanctioned his trying, ’Tis mere massacre now that the enemy’s flying; If he’s forced to ’t again, and we happen to be there, Give us each a large handkerchief soaked in strong ether.”