England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction; Teenage girls -- Fiction
"I should do a bit of Banting first," continued papa, with one of those
sneers against mamma's _embonpoint_ which do make her so angry.
And then, after a great deal of talking and arguing, in which of course
mamma must have it all her own way, and me not consulted a bit, they
settled that mamma was to write to Allsham, and then if the letter in
reply proved satisfactory, she was to go down at once and see the place.
If she liked it, I was to spend a year there for a finishing course of
education; for they would not call it--as I spitefully told papa they
ought to--they would not call it sending me back to school; and it was
too bad, after promising that the two years I passed in the convent at
Guisnes should be the last.
Yes: too bad. I could not help it if my grammar was what papa called,
in his slangy way, "horribly slack." I never did like that horrid
parsing, and I'm sure it comes fast enough with reading. Soeur Celine
never found fault with my French grammatical construction when I wrote
letters to her, and I wrote one that very day; for it did seem such a
horrid shame to treat me in so childish a way.
And while I was writing--or rather, while I was sitting at the window,
thinking of what to say, and biting the end of my pen--who should come
by but the new curate, Mr Saint Purre, of Saint Sympathetica's, and
when he saw how mournful I looked, he raised his hat with such a sad
smile, and passed on.
By the way, what an improvement it is, the adoption of the beard in the
church. Mr Saint Purre's is one of the most beautiful black, glossy,
silky beards ever seen; and I'm sure I thought so then, when I was
writing about going back to school--a horrible, hateful place! How I
bit my lips and shook my head! I could have cried with vexation, but I
would not let a soul see it; for there are some things to which I could
not stoop. In fact, after the first unavailing remonstrance, if it had
been to send me to school for life, I would not have said another word.
For only think of what mamma said, and she must have told papa what she
thought. Such dreadful ideas.
"You are becoming too fond of going to church, Laura," she said with a
meaning look. "I'm afraid we did wrong in letting you go to the
sisters."
"Absurd, mamma!" I cried. "No one can be too religious."
"Oh, yes, my dear, they can," said mamma, "when they begin to worship
idols."
"What do you mean, mamma?" I cried, blushing, for there was a curious
meaning in her tone.
"Never mind, my dear," she said, tightening her lips. "Your papa quite
agreed with me that you wanted a change."
"But I don't, mamma," I pleaded.
"Oh yes you do, my dear," she continued, "you are getting wasted and
wan, and too fond of morning services. What do you think papa said?"
"I don't know, mamma."
"He said, `That would cure it.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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