Forest was silent for a moment, but the hard, savage bitterness which
now lay in his features, and which was even more grimly reflected in
Jane's face, showed that these remembrances were not foreign to her,
and that the daughter had always been her father's confidant.
After a short pause the father continued: "Scarce was I free, when I
committed the folly of marrying. It was madness in my position, but
already, while at the university, I had become betrothed to your
mother. She had waited long years for me, for my sake had renounced a
brilliant position in life, and she now stood alone and forsaken, an
orphan, dependent upon the favor and cold charity of _relatives_. This
I could not bear; rather would I venture all. We were married, and a
year after, your brother was born. He was not like you, Jane."--As he
said these words, a lingering, almost painful glance swept the
beautiful face of his daughter. "He was blonde and blue-eyed like his
mother, but his possession was not unalloyed happiness to me. The first
eight years of my marriage were the darkest of my life; more terrible,
even, than those days in prison. There I suffered alone; here it was
with wife and child that I must endure the conflict against misery and
utter destitution which with all its horrors threatened them. My career
was naturally ruined, my connections severed. Whatever I began,
whatever I undertook, to the demagogue every door was closed; every
means of support withdrawn. At that time I put forth my best strength,
and did my utmost in a struggle for daily bread; and still, my most
unremitting efforts did not always suffice to keep my family from want.
"We might perhaps have perished, but the year 1848 came, and showed
that the old dreamer had not yet fully learned to renounce his ideals.
He allowed himself again to be enticed; for the second time, he
listened to the syren's song, only to be dashed anew against the
rocks.--I took my wife and child to a secure place among relatives, and
threw myself headlong into the tide of revolution. You know how it
ended! Our parliament was dissolved, the conflict in Baden broke out. I
was one of the leaders of the revolutionary army; we were beaten,
annihilated. For the first time a propitious destiny protected me from
the worst. Now I was free.
"I would not again, and this time perhaps forever, be shut up in
prison; I would not give up my family to irretrievable ruin; therefore
I decided upon flight to America. My brother-in-law offered me the
necessary passage-money; perhaps from kindness of heart, but more
probably it was to be rid of the accursed demagogue, the disgrace of
the family. Great circumspection was needed, for from one end of
Germany to the other, the minions of the law were already let loose
upon our track.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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