"Be silent, Jane!" interrupted Forest passionately. "There are things
which you do not understand, will never learn to understand! I met no
consideration in your mother, that I confess; she indeed made me
unhappy; and still, she gave me hours of happiness, such as you will
never give your husband--_never_, Jane! But then Mr. Alison will have
no need of them."
Jane was silent. She had become accustomed to find her father very
irritable in his sickness, sometimes quite incomprehensible. With the
consideration one gives the sick, she now bore this passionate
outbreak, and quietly resumed her place at his bedside.
A few minutes after, Forest again turned to her. "Forgive me, child!"
he said mildly, "I was unjust. You have become what I educated you to
be, what I would have you be, and I do not now regret having given you
this direction. You will better endure the life-conflict than your
weak, sensitive mother. Let this rest; it was something different you
were to hear from me. Do you know that you have a brother?"
Jane started up in terror, and in questioning expectation, fixed her
eyes upon her father.
"As a child I sometimes heard a hint of this; but lately no one has
ever spoken of him to me. Is he dead?"
A deep sigh rent Forest's breast. "Perhaps he is dead, perhaps not. We
have never been able to learn with certainty. I at last forbade all
mention of his name, because his remembrance threatened to kill your
mother; but the silence was of little avail; she never forgot him for a
single hour."
With eager intentness Jane bent down yet closer to her father. He took
her hand and held it fast in his.
"You are not unacquainted with the recent history of your native
country, my daughter; you are aware of the glowing enthusiasm which in
the thirtieth year of the present century took possession of all
Germany, and especially of its high schools. I was a student at that
time, and, a youth of eighteen years, I was animated like so many of my
comrades with visions of the freedom and greatness that might come to
my fatherland under a new and more liberal order of things. We sought
to carry out these revolutionary ideas, and for that crime the
government repaid us with imprisonment, in many cases with sentence of
death. I was doomed to die, but by especial favor, my sentence was
commuted to thirty years' imprisonment. Seven of these years I endured;
but as you have often enough heard the story, I will not repeat it now.
Even these bitter years resulted in good to me; they ended for all time
my youthful ideals and youthful illusions. When the amnesty at last
came, under the iron pressure of the prison, in endless humiliations,
in glowing hatred, had been ripened a man, who better than the twenty
years' old dreamer knew how to bravely assume and patiently endure the
struggle with life and misery."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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