_We might well call this short mock-play of ours A posie made of weeds instead of flowers; Yet such have been presented to your noses, And there are such, I fear, who thought 'em roses. Would some of 'em were here, to see this night What stuff it is in which they took delight. Here, brisk, insipid rogues, for wit, let fall Sometimes dull sense, but oft'ner none at all; There, strutting heroes, with a grim-fac'd train, Shalt brave the gods, in king Cambyses vein. For (changing rules, of late, as if men writ In spite of reason, nature, art, and wit) Our poets make us laugh at tragedy, And with their comedies they make us cry._ A short account of this satire will, perhaps, be best understood, if I explain that the antagonism of two contending kings of Granada having been a favourite idea of Dryden in his tragedies, Buckingham is said to have designed to ridicule him in making two, not rival, but associate kings of Brentford, though others say that these two kings of Brentford were intended for a sneer upon king Charles II. and the duke of York. These two kings are the heroes of Bayes's play. The first act of "The Rehearsal" consists of a discussion between Bayes, Johnson, and Smith, on the general character of the play, in which Bayes exhibits a large amount of vanity and self-confidence, said to have been a characteristic of all these play-writers of the earlier period of the Restoration, and he informs them that he has "made a prologue and an epilogue, which may both serve for either; that is, the prologue for the epilogue, or the epilogue for the prologue, (do you mark!) nay, they may both serve, too, 'egad, for any other play as well as this." Smith observes, "That's indeed artificial." Finally Bayes explains, that as other authors, in their prologues, sought to flatter and propitiate their audience, in order to gain their favourable opinion of the plot, he, on the contrary, intended to force their applause out of them by mere dint of terror, and for that purpose, he had introduced as speakers of his prologue, no less personages than Thunder and Lightning. This prologue, disengaged from the remarks of Bayes and his friends, runs as follows:-- _Enter_ THUNDER _and_ LIGHTNING. _Thun._--I am the bold Thunder. _Light._--The brisk Lightning I. _Thun._--I am the bravest Hector of the sky. _Light._--And I fair Helen, that made Hector die. _Thun._--I strike men down. _Light._--I fire the town. _Thun_.--Let critics take heed how they grumble, For then I begin for to rumble. _Light_.--Let the ladies allow us their graces, Or I'll blast all the paint on their faces, And dry up their peter to soot. _Thun_.--Let the critics look to't. _Light_.--Let the ladies look to't.