A kiss for Cinderella: A comedyBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
A kiss for Cinderella: A comedy
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Fantasy drama; London (England) -- Drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama; World War, 1914-1918 -- Drama
(_He produces his note book. He is about to make a powerful
beginning when he finds her eyes regarding the middle of
his person._)
Now then, what are you staring at?
CINDERELLA. (_hotly_). That’s a poor way to polish a belt. If I was
a officer I would think shame of having my belt in that condition.
POLICEMAN. (_undoubtedly affected by her homeliness though
unconscious of it_). It’s easy to speak; it’s a miserable polish I
admit, but mind you, I’m pretty done when my job’s over; and I have
the polishing to do myself.
CINDERELLA. You have no woman person?
POLICEMAN. Not me.
CINDERELLA (_with passionate arms_). If I had that belt for half an
hour!
POLICEMAN. What would you use?
CINDERELLA. Spit.
POLICEMAN. Spit? That’s like what my mother would have said. That
was in Badgery, where I was born. When I was a boy at Badgery—(_He
stops short. She has reminded him of Badgery!_)
CINDERELLA. What’s wrong?
POLICEMAN (_heavily_). How did you manage that about Badgery?
CINDERELLA. What?
POLICEMAN. Take care, prisoner.
(_The word makes her shudder. He sits, prepared to take
notes._)
Name?
CINDERELLA. Cinderella.
POLICEMAN. Take care, Thing. Occupation, if any?
CINDERELLA (_with some pride_). Tempary help.
POLICEMAN. Last place?
CINDERELLA. 3 Robert Street.
POLICEMAN. Scotch?
(_Her mouth shuts._)
Ah, they’ll never admit that. Reason for leaving?
CINDERELLA. I had to go when the war broke out.
POLICEMAN. Why dismissed?
CINDERELLA (_forlorn_). They said I was a luxury.
POLICEMAN (_getting ready to pounce_). Now be cautious. How do you
spend your evenings after you leave this building?
(_Her mouth shuts._)
Have you another and secret occupation?
(_She blanches._)
Has it to do with boxes? What do you keep in those boxes? Where
is it that these goings-on is going on? If you won’t tell me, I’m
willing to tell you. It’s at A. C. Celeste’s.... In Bond Street, W.
(_He has levelled his finger at her, but it is a pistol
that does not go off. To his chagrin she looks relieved. He
tries hammer blows._)
Are you living in guilty splendour? How do you come to know German
words? How many German words do you think _I_ know? Just one,
_espionage_. What’s the German for ‘six months hard’?
(_She is now crumpled, and here he would do well to pause
and stride up and down the room. But he cannot leave well
alone._)
What’s this nonsense about your feet?
CINDERELLA (_plucking up courage_). It’s not nonsense.
POLICEMAN. I see nothing particular about your feet.
CINDERELLA. Then I’m sorry for you.
POLICEMAN. What is it?
CINDERELLA (_softly as if it were a line from the Bible_). Their
exquisite smallness and perfect shape.
POLICEMAN (_with a friendly glance at the Venus_). For my part I’m
partial to big women with their noses in the air.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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