I have, in the Book in Question, exposed the real Pleasures of the Voluptuous, and taken Notice of the great Scarcity of true Self-denial among Christians, and in doing this I have spared the Clergy no more than the Laity: This has highly provoked a great many. But as I have done this without the least Exaggeration, meddled with Nothing, but what is plainly known and seen, and always said less than I could have proved, my Adversaries were obliged to dissemble the Cause of their Anger. What vex'd them the more was, that it was wrote without Rancour or Peevishness; and, if not in a pleasant, at least in an open good-humour'd Manner, free, I dare say, from Pedantry and Sourness. Therefore None of them ever touch'd upon this Point, or spoke one Syllable of the only Thing, which in their Hearts they hate me for. Here, Sir, I must trouble you with a Parable, in which are couch'd the Prevarications and false Pretences with which the Generality of the World would cover their real Inclinations and the Ends of their Wishes. May it prove as diverting to you as the Matter is really instructive. _In old Heathen Times there was, they say, a Whimsical Country, where the People talked much of Religion; and the greatest Part, as to outward Appearance, seem'd really devout: The chief moral Evil among them was Thirst, and to quench it, a Damnable Sin; yet they unanimously agreed, that Every one was born Thirsty more or less. Small Beer in Moderation was allow'd to All; and he was counted an Hypocrite, a Cynick, or a Madman, who pretended that One could live altogether without it; yet those, who owned they loved it, and drank it to Excess, were counted Wicked. All this while the Beer it self was reckon'd a Blessing from Heaven, and there was no Harm in the Use of it; all the Enormity lay in the Abuse, the Motive of the Heart, that made them drink it. He that took the least Drop of it to quench his Thirst, committed a heinous Crime, whilst others drank large Quantities without any Guilt, so they did it indifferently, and for no other Reason than to mend their Complexion._ _They brew'd for other Countries as well as their own; and for the Small Beer they sent abroad, they receiv'd large Returns of Westphaly-Hams, Neats-Tongues, Hung-Beef, and Bolonia-Sausages, Red Herrings, Pickled Sturgeon, Cavear, Anchovies, and every Thing that was proper to make their Liquor go down with Pleasure. Those who kept great Stores of Small Beer by them, without making use of it, were generally envied, and at the same Time very odious to the Publick; and No body was easy that had not enough of it to come to his own Share. The greatest Calamity they thought could befall them, was to keep their Hops and Barley upon their Hands; and the more they yearly consumed of them, the more they reckon'd the Country to flourish._