Artists -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Portraits -- Fiction
It only enters for a moment into this story to show
how powerfully Miss Upwell's belief in the picture's
personality had been reinforced before the time came
for Mr. Pelly to read Professor Schrudengesser's
Florentine manuscript.
Perhaps if Miss Volumnia had then been in a
position to lay before her friend the results of a
subsequent interview with her cousin, in which she elicited
some most important facts, this belief might at
least have been suspended, and Miss Upwell's
attitude towards the pardonable scepticisms of her
father and Mr. Pelly might have been less
disrespectful. But as a matter of fact Miss Volumnia
only came to the knowledge of these facts months
later, when she called upon Mrs. Reginald Aiken
with the Secretary, Mr. MacAnimus, and Mr. Vacaw,
the Chairman of the Psychomorphic; the three
constituting a Deputation from the Society, which
was anxious for repetition and confirmation of the
story before appointing a sub-committee to listen
to well-painted pictures. This interview may be
given here, for the sake of those curious in Psychological
study, but its place in the succession of events
should be borne in mind. It is really a piece of
inartistic anticipation.
"We shouldn't come pestering you like this,
Cousin Euphemia," said Miss Volumnia, after introducing
the Deputation, "if it had not been that we
have so much trouble in getting volunteers to
guarantee the amount of listening which we consider
has to be gone through before the negative
conclusion, that pictures cannot talk, is accepted as
practically established. My sister Jessie has
undertaken to listen to any picture at the National
Gallery the sub-committee may select, provided
that either Mr. Duodecimus Groob or Charley
Galsworthy accompanies her, and listens too. I can
see no objection to this, but I prefer that they
should listen to Gevartius. I think it perhaps
better that so young a girl should not hear what
the Laughing Cavalier, Franz Hals, is likely to say.
Or Charley Galsworthy either, for that matter.
Mr. Duodecimus Groob is a graduate of the
University of London...."
Mr. Reginald Aiken, who was present at this
interview, looked up from his easel, at which he was
retouching a sketch of no importance, to say that
he knew this Mr. Groob, who was an awful ass; but
his brother Dolly was quite another pair of shoes,
of whom the World would soon hear more. The
interruption was rude and discourteous, and
Mrs. Aiken was obliged to explain to the Deputation
that it was quite unnecessary to pay any attention
to it. Her husband was always like that. His
manners were atrocious, but his heart was good.
As for Mr. Adolphus Groob, he was insufferable.
"Shall we proceed to business?" said Mr. MacAnimus,
a piercing man, who let nobody off.
"I will, with your permission, run through
Mrs. Reginald Aiken's deposition...."
"I never made any deposition," said that lady.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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