EDWIN. I'm getting on tremendously with Miss Carruthers. This is great fun; I do like a little change. Now, if Ethel wasn't so absurdly fond of me--if she would only flirt a bit--(_perceiving her_) Holloa! It strikes me she is flirting a bit. (_BOY outside has just commenced to sing_) ETHEL. Oh, really, Captain Plunger! BOY. (_singing_) "And the captain with his whiskers stole a sly glance at me." EDWIN. Oh, come, I say, you know. It strikes me Ethel's flirting a good deal. It seems _she_ likes a little change. This isn't such great fun after all. ETHEL. I hope that no one will disturb us. CAPT. I'd advise them not. _Exeunt through R. window._ EDWIN. (_who has come round gradually, R._) Oh, hang it, I'll go after them. This isn't fun at all. _Exit through same window._ _Re-enter MRS. PLUNGER through L. window._ MRS. P. Where's Mr. Larkspur got to I should like to know? I'm not going to be left in this way, I can tell him. _Re-enter ETHEL, through L. window._ ETHEL. There they both are. Won't there be a row? MRS. P. My dearest Ethel! ETHEL. Oh my darling Alice! (_they embrace_) MRS. P. I've been having such fun. ETHEL. So have I. MRS. P. I'm in the middle of a desperate flirtation. ETHEL. That's exactly what I'm coming to myself. MRS. P. Ah, but my dear, you don't know what flirtation is. Wait till you're married. Then's the time. ETHEL. But _you're_ not married? MRS. P. I'm not married! Why, my dear, where have you been this age? I made sure everybody knew that I was married this day week. ETHEL. I've no doubt you endeavoured to let everybody know, my love; but being away upon my honeymoon, I didn't hear of it. MRS. P. What are _you_ married too? ETHEL. Good gracious! You didn't know that I was married ten days ago! Where have you been this century? MRS. P. Then, we've both of us got husbands. ETHEL. But I got mine first. MRS. P. Perhaps so. You were always in a hurry to get married. ETHEL. Was I, love? Then I'd a fault which you had not, for everyone says you've been long enough about it. MRS. P. It's quite true I didn't snap at the first offer that was made to me. ETHEL. You didn't snap at it, indeed; you were uncommon civil to it. So polite, in fact, that you accepted it. MRS. P. The offer that my husband made to me was not the first by any means. ETHEL. Then it's true, is it? I had heard that he'd proposed to several other girls before. MRS. P. How could you, when you hadn't heard I was married? ETHEL. But I had heard you were going to be. MRS. P. Then, why were you astonished when you found I was? ETHEL. Because, my love, I had dismissed the rumour as incredible. MRS. P. And who did rumour say had got possession of me? ETHEL. Rumour didn't say that anyone had got possession of you, dear; it said that you had got possession of him. MRS. P. Of whom? ETHEL. I really couldn't catch his name--they spoke of him as "that poor fellow."