EDWIN. No other reason I assure you. Fortunately, Ethel thought she'd occupy the time in making love to Captain Plunger. I didn't like her making love to him, and so I thought she mightn't like my making love to you, and I'm not going to do it any more. I further beg to state that Mrs. Larkspur is not on the look out for a husband, that in my opinion she has not gone off at all, and that I don't believe she ever angled after anyone. ETHEL. (_running out_) You dear old darling, you're the greatest love that is or ever was or ever will be. I don't care for anyone but you. I only flirted to cure you. I beg your pardon, and I'll never do so any more; and you'll forgive me, won't you? (_on her knees_) EDWIN. Ethel, are you on the look-out for a husband? ETHEL. Edwin, did you never see a girl three times without proposing to her? EDWIN. Did you angle after Captain Plunger? ETHEL. Did you say that if you'd thought I should accept you, you should never have proposed to me? EDWIN. I didn't. You've been told a lot of wicked stories. (_raising her_) ETHEL. So have you. MRS. P. What a delightful reconciliation! EDWIN. Yes, it is delightful, Mrs. Plunger, to discover in one's wife a woman who's as amiable after marriage as before. MRS. P. Oh, Ethel always had the reputation of an amiable woman. People said, when I was quite a child, she was an amiable woman. ETHEL. (_aside to EDWIN_) Never mind her, she doesn't know that Captain Plunger first proposed to me. EDWIN. What, in his whiskers? ETHEL. Yes. EDWIN. And you rejected them? ETHEL. For you! EDWIN. I've licked the whiskers! Bravo! "See the conquering hero comes, sound the trumpets, beat the drums!" (_band strikes up again_) Oh, no, don't, please. _Re-enter CAPTAIN PLUNGER through R. window._ CAPT. Here's that dreadful band again. The leader says the bagpipes have told everyone we're pitching out half crowns, and all the music in the town is on its way here. MRS. P. Captain Plunger, I am given to understand that you've been going on with Mrs. Larkspur in a most improper manner. CAPT. Nothing of the sort, my love. I never flirt--when you are with me. EDWIN. If he has, you must forgive him this time, Mrs. Plunger, as my wife's forgiven me. (_band stops_) CAPT. What's she forgiven you, Larkspur? ETHEL. I've forgiven him his going on with Mrs. Plunger. CAPT. So have I. I don't at all resent his going on with Mrs. Plunger. MRS. P. Oh, you monster! CAPT. What I should resent would be his going off with Mrs. Plunger. MRS. P. I mean, oh, you darling. _Re-enter WAITER, R._ WAITER. If you please, the family with the measles has sent up to say as how they can't have all the music turned away. It brings the rash out beautiful. EDWIN. All right then. Let them have their fill. It makes no difference to us, as we leave Dumpington to-morrow. WAITER. Leave to-morrow, sir! What for? ETHEL. "A LITTLE CHANGE." (_a concert of street music outside_) CURTAIN. Transcriber's Note