“I did not mean one word of it, dearest John,” said she in a new and
altered voice, which scarce reached to him, it was so soft. “How can you
think I want to hurt you when I come to this wretched prison of yours to
see you because I love you, and cannot forget you in spite of all that
you have done only on purpose to hurt me?”
“Oh, go away, go away, if you have any pity left in you,” said John. His
own voice was now come back to him, but he sobbed once or twice between
his words.
Meanwhile the Caracal, who had watched all this scene and listened to it
with a great deal of wonder, now came up to him and began to comfort him
in his distress, first sniffing at his face and hands and then licking
them.
And before anything more could be said between Josephine and John, the
door opened and a whole party of people were come in to see the apes. At
that Josephine went out of the house and out of the Gardens, and getting
into a cab went straight home, all as if she were in a nightmare. As for
Mr. Cromartie, he struggled quickly on to his feet and hurried out of
his cage into his hiding-place to wash his face, comb his hair, and
compose himself a little before facing the public; but when he went back
the party were gone away and there was only his Caracal staring at him
and asking him as plain as words:
“What is the matter, my dear friend? Are you all right now? Is it over?
I am sorry for you, although I am a Caracal and you are a man. Indeed, I
do love you very tenderly.”
There was only the Caracal when he went back into his cage, only the
Caracal and “Wilhelm Meister” lying on the floor.
That night Miss Lackett suffered every torment which love can give, for
her pride seemed to have deserted her now when she most wanted it to
support her, and without it her pity for poor Mr. Cromartie and her
shame at her own words were free to reduce and humble her utterly.
“How can I ever speak to him again?” she asked herself. “How can I ever
hope to be forgiven when I have gone twice to him in his miserable
captivity, and each time I have insulted him and said the things which
it would hurt him most to hear?”
“From the very beginning,” she told herself, “it has all been my fault.
It is I who made him go into the Zoo. I called him mad, and mocked at
him and made him suffer, when everything has been due to my ungovernable
temper, my pride and my heartlessness. But all the time I have suffered,
and now it is too late to do anything. He will never forgive me now. He
will never bear to see me again and I must suffer always. If I had
behaved differently perhaps I could have saved him and myself too. Now I
have killed his love for me, and because of my folly he must suffer
imprisonment and loneliness for ever, and I myself shall live miserably
and never again dare hold up my head.”
Providence has not framed mankind for emotions such as these; they may
be felt acutely, but in a healthy and high-spirited girl they are not of
a very lasting nature.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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