It was only natural, then, that after giving up the greater part of the
night to the bitterest self-reproach and to the completest humiliation
of spirit, and after shedding enough tears to make her pillow
uncomfortably damp, Miss Lackett should wake next morning in a very
hopeful state of mind. She determined to visit Mr. Cromartie that
afternoon, and despatched a note acquainting him with her intention in
these terms:
Eaton Square.
DEAR JOHN,
You know well that the reason why I behaved badly is because I
still love you. I am very much ashamed, please forgive me if you
can. I must see you to-day. May I come in the afternoon? It is very
important, because I don’t think we can either of us continue like
this much longer. I will come in the afternoon. Please consent to
see me, but I will not come unless you send me word by the
messenger that I may.
Yours,
JOSEPHINE LACKETT.
The moment that Josephine had sent off the messenger she regretted what
she had said in it, and nothing seemed to her then more certain than
that her letter would exasperate Cromartie still further. The next
moment she thought to herself: “I have exposed myself to the greatest
humiliation a woman can receive.” For a second or two this filled her
with terror, and at that moment she would have readily killed herself.
As neither poisons, poignards, pistols or precipices were within reach
she did nothing, and in less than a minute the mood passed, and she said
to herself:
“What does my humiliation matter? I suffered more of that last night
than I can ever suffer again. Last night I humiliated myself in my own
eyes. If John tries to humiliate me to-day he will find the work done.
Meanwhile I must be self-controlled. I have no time to waste on my
emotions; I have many things to do. I must see John, and as I am in love
with him I have got to make terms with him. I have got to make a bargain
with him.”
Acting on these thoughts she went out at once, meaning to walk to the
Zoo without waiting any longer for the messenger boy to come back. But
her mind was still busy.
“I will completely forgive him, and offer to become engaged to him
secretly in return for his instantly leaving the Zoo.”
She did not reflect as she said this that nothing would be easier for
her than to break off such an engagement, whereas if Cromartie once left
the Gardens it was improbable that they would take him back.
But when she got to the Marble Arch she had to wait a little before
crossing the road, and she noticed a man selling newspapers beside her.
On the placard he carried she saw:
MAN IN THE ZOO
MAULED BY
MONKEY
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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