Cost and standard of living -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Wealth -- Fiction
“The women, with sharp hooks, pick out the little knots and hard bits
from the heart, and then souse the sorted stuff into boding water:
and then they cut the bits with a turning thing toothed with knives;
cut it and shred it; and now what was a fine, firm, full-weight
heart, labouring in and through life, in the bosom of this wretched
tipsiness below us, is soft and liquid as a dish of batter.
Nevertheless, bating a chalky paleness in the fellow’s face, he seems
to do as well without his heart as with it.”
“But it can’t last, father; it can’t last. He must have something of
a heart to live,” said the young flea.
“Be patient a minute, and you shall learn. Now, one of the hags
scoops the batter edgewise into a little frame and shakes it
and—presto!—all is done: the heart of the dreamer is worked up into I
know not how many sheets—but there seems a lumping lot—a lumping lot
of the finest and whitest paper.”
“Poor devil, I say again. He can’t live with that; he can’t go
through life with a heart of paper.”
“Don’t interrupt me. Whilst you spoke, everything changed. At this
moment, the imp that vanished when he threw the heart to the hags,
now carries it in a square bundle upon his head; laughing and
skipping along London streets; and the man without a heart still
following his tormenter. My son, the imp and the man are now going up
Ludgate Hill”—
“Do you know the place?” asked the younger flea.
“Perfectly well; many years ago—for what a vulgar error it is to
think fleas short-lived—many years ago, I walked on a Lord Mayor’s
day.”
“Walked!” cried the young flea.
“Walked; that is, was carried in the miniver fur of the alderman of
the Fishmongers’ Company; and upon my life, a very noble sight it
was. Yes, my child, I think I ought to remember that show, for it was
on that very day, in that very miniver, I first met your poor mother.
Ha! that was a happy day—and we saw all the fun from the beginning to
the end; for we contrived to get upon the alderman, and sitting close
and keeping quiet—for that’s an art fleas have to learn, if they
would see, and not in the end be seen—sitting close in the nape of
the alder man’s neck, we were present at the banquet. I shall never
forget the beautiful sight we had, when the alderman got upon his
legs to make a speech. Well, we were carried home and put to bed with
the alderman, and from that time”—
“Never mind the alderman,” cried the pert young flea, “but get on
from Ludgate-Hill.”
“While I’ve talked, the imp and the man have gone round St. Paul’s,
and are now crossing into Cheapside. Shall I ever forget how, when we
came to Cheapside, the giants—well, I won’t think of that now. The
imp with the load of paper on his head runs by Bow-Church, and the
dreamer here stretches after him. My son, both imp and man,” said
the flea solemnly, “both imp and man have now entered the Bank of
England.”
“The Bank of England!” repeated the young flea, impressed by the
sudden seriousness of its parent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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