There was nothing very tragic to me in being whipped. All the boys I
knew were punished so. I had never given the matter any thought. As I
would not admit that I had lied, this was the worst beating I ever
received. He stopped at last from lack of breath and sent me to bed.
"Oliver will be back to-morrow," he said. "It is no use persisting in
your lie. You will be found out. And if you have not confessed...."
The threat was left open.
I remember tossing about in bed and wishing that I had lied and taken a
whipping for disobedience. It would not have been so bad and would have
been over at once. The next morning I sat sullenly in my room waiting
for Oliver’s return, wondering if he would tell the truth. I was not at
all confident. Towards noon, the blackboard turned in at the gate, one
of the negroes took the horse and I heard the Father call Oliver into
his study.
Then suddenly a door slammed and I heard the Father’s step on the stair.
He was running. He burst into my room and before I knew what was
happening, he had picked me up in his arms. And, wonder of wonders, he
was crying. I had never before seen a grown man cry. He was asking me,
I could not understand what he meant, but he was asking me to forgive
him. Then I heard the Mother’s voice at the door.
"What is the matter, Josiah?"
"Oh, Martha. It’s horrible! I caned the lad for a lie and he was
telling the Truth! Oh, my son, my son, forgive me."
At first all I realized was that I was not to be whipped any more. But
all day long the Father kept me close to him and gradually from his talk
I began vaguely to understand that there was such a thing as justice. I
had always supposed that punishments were a matter of the parents’ good
pleasure. That it had any relation to cause and effect, that sometimes
a father might be right and sometimes wrong in beating a child, had
never occurred to me.
It is interesting how such things take form in a child’s mind. The
Father bought me a set of tools like Oliver’s as a peace offering, and
of course I was much more interested in them than in any abstract
conception of justice. Yet in some gradual, subconscious way, the idea
arranged itself in my mind. I began to judge everything by it. I
suppose it marked the end of babyhood, the first faint beginning of
manhood.
*III*
It Is not surprising that, in that austere home, my first fundamental
idea should have been of justice rather than of love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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