With the new-born instinct of rectitude within her she tried to see
if there was any reasonable ground for the real dislike of her which
now seemed to be in her husband's mind. With every desire to be
honest, she could think of none except the fact that she had not
answered to his rein. He could hardly resent her not loving him, for
he had married her without asking that; and besides, what did he know
of love, as she was now beginning to comprehend it? No, it was not
that which he resented in her; it was the fact that, although she
chose to conform to him in outward things, he had never obtained the
mastery of her in the manner which, to his ideas, befitted the
relationship of Lord and Lady Hurdly. She thought of the picture of
his meek little mother and masterful-looking father.
CHAPTER X
Bettina had been left to the lonely idleness of her own reflections
but a few days when the monotony of her life was broken by one of
those sudden events which, by the vastness of their consequences,
seem not only to change the face of nature for us, and the aspect of
all the world without, but also to change ourselves, in our spirits
and minds, so that we can never be the same creatures that we were
before. She received a telegram announcing that Lord Hurdly had been
killed in the hunting-field.
Poor Bettina, with all her faults and limitations, had something of
her mother's noble nature in her, and this element of her somewhat
complicated individuality had been the part of her which had expanded
most of late. Her first feelings, therefore, were unmingled pity and
regret. She did not think of herself and of how all things would be
changed for her. Her whole thought was of him who so long had existed
in her mind as the image of pride and indomitable self-will, but who
had now become, in one moment, the object of her deepest pity. She
had scarcely ever thought of death in connection with him. He had
seemed as sound as steel. She had never heard him speak of the least
symptom of illness, and now the paper in her hand informed her that
he was dead.
How thankful she was that she had not spoken to him angrily in their
last talk! How she wished that she had said just one kind word to him
at parting! True, he had given her no opportunity; but if she had
known--
Suddenly she burst into violent weeping, and in this condition they
found her, with the telegram on the floor at her feet.
"Who would have thought my lady would have taken it so hard?" said
Mrs. Parlett, when the exciting news was heard down-stairs. "They was
that 'aughty to one another before people! But it's them as feels the
most, sometimes."
This remark was addressed to Nora, in the hope of eliciting a
response, but Nora excelled in the art of holding her tongue.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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