It was she alone who was admitted to her mistress's apartments, where
Bettina remained, in deep agitation, while the preparations for the
arrival of Lord Hurdly's body were being made. After her profound
emotion of pity for him, her next thought had been of Horace. He was
the heir and nearest of kin. It flashed upon her, with the suddenness
of surprise, that he was Lord Hurdly now.
How strange, how absolutely bewildering, this new state of things
seemed! Her mind seemed unable to grasp the strangeness of these new
conditions.
Bettina saw no one but the rector of the parish. All that had to be
done was so plain and simple, and there were so many capable hands to
do it, that there was little need to consult with her. She begged the
rector to act in her stead in giving all necessary directions. It was
with a deep sense of relief that she reflected on the impossibility
of Horace's arrival in time for the funeral. Perhaps she could get
away somewhere before he came.
Those days when her husband's body lay in the apartment near her, and
the relations and friends assembled to do it an honor which in his
lifetime they were scarcely suffered to express, marked the period of
the real awakening of Bettina's soul. The sense of freedom which her
position now secured to her, the power to do and be what she chose,
was like wings to her spirit, and for the first time in her
experience the woman and the hour were met.
When she had been free before to make her own life, her vision had
been so limited, her aspiration so low, her interest in the
heart-beats of the great humanity of which her little life was so
small a part had been so uncomprehending, that she had cared only for
the narrow issues which concerned herself. But now, in the hour which
saw her free again, she was another woman, and this woman had a
passionate purpose in her heart to make herself avail for the needs
of others.
She resolved that the moment her affairs were settled her new life
should begin. The period of her marriage had opened up before her
vast opportunities, of which she was eager to take advantage. These
would need money for their carrying out, but that she would have
money enough she had never doubted. Of course until the reading of
the will it would not be known what provision had been made for her,
but Lord Hurdly had always been extremely generous as to money, and
she had no misgivings on that score.
At last the funeral was over and the house was rid of guests.
Various cousins and friends had shown their willingness to remain and
bear her company, but Bettina, with the rector's aid, had managed to
get rid of these. She wanted to be alone and to think out some course
of future action, for she was still in a state of absolute
unadjustment to her new situation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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