A Modest Proposal: For preventing the children of poor people in Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the publickSwift, Jonathan
General
A Modest Proposal: For preventing the children of poor people in Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the publick
Swift, Jonathan
Ireland -- Politics and government -- 18th century -- Humor; Political satire, English; Religious satire, English
As to our City of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose,
in the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will
not be wanting; although I rather recommend buying the children alive,
and dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs.
A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I
highly esteem, was lately pleased in discoursing on this matter, to
offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this
kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the
want of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and
maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve; so
great a number of both sexes in every county being now ready to starve
for want of work and service: and these to be disposed of by their
parents if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due
deference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I
cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my
American acquaintance assured me from frequent experience, that their
flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys, by
continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them
would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think,
with humble submission, be a loss to the publick, because they soon
would become breeders themselves: and besides, it is not improbable
that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice,
(although indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty,
which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection
against any project, how well soever intended.
But in order to justify my friend, he confessed, that this expedient
was put into his head by the famous Psalmanaazor, a native of the
island Formosa, who came from thence to London, above twenty years ago,
and in conversation told my friend, that in his country, when any young
person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to
persons of quality, as a prime dainty; and that, in his time, the body
of a plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison
the Emperor, was sold to his imperial majesty’s prime minister of
state, and other great mandarins of the court in joints from the
gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the
same use were made of several plump young girls in this town, who
without one single groat to their fortunes, cannot stir abroad without
a chair, and appear at a playhouse and assemblies in foreign fineries
which they never will pay for, the kingdom would not be the worse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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