David never saw his home again. His mother gave it out in church that
her heart was broken, and she wrote a letter to David begging him to
reform. She said she would never cease to pray for him, that he might
return to grace. He had an attorney, an impecunious and very aged
gentleman, whose life was a venerable failure, and who talked so much
about his personal inconveniences from indigestion that he forgot to
take a very keen interest in the concerns of his client. David's trial
made no sensation. He did not even have the cheap sympathy of the
morbid. The court-room was almost empty the dull spring day when the
east wind beat against the window, jangling the loose panes all through
the reading of the verdict.
Twenty years!
Twenty years in the penitentiary!
David looked up at the judge and smiled. Men have been known to smile
that way when the car-wheel crashes over their legs, or a bullet lets
the air through their lungs.
All that followed would have seemed more terrible if it had not appeared
to be so remote. David had to assure himself over and over that it was
really he who was put in that disgraceful dress, and locked in that
shameful walk from corridor to workroom, from work-room to chapel.
The work was not much more monotonous than that to which he had been
accustomed in the office. Here, as there, one was reproved for not doing
the required amount, but never praised for extraordinary efforts. Here,
as there, the workers regarded each other with dislike and suspicion.
Here, as there, work was a penalty and not a pleasure.
It is the nights that are to be dreaded in a penitentiary. Speech eases
the brain of free men; but the man condemned to eternal silence is
bound to endure torments. Thought, which might be a diversion, becomes
a curse; it is a painful disease which becomes chronic. It does not take
long to forget the days of the week and the months of the year when
time brings no variance. David drugged himself on dreams. He knew it was
weakness, but it was the wine of forgetfulness, and he indulged in it.
He went over and over, in endless repetition, every scene in which Zoe
Le Baron had figured.
He learned by a paper that she had gone to Europe. He was glad of that.
For there were hours in which he imagined that his fate might have
caused her distress--not much, of course, but perhaps an occasional hour
of sympathetic regret. But it was pleasanter not to think of that. He
preferred to remember the hours they had spent together while she was
teaching him the joy of life.
How lovely her gray eyes were! Deep, yet bright, and full of silent
little speeches. The rooms in which he imagined her as moving were
always splendid; the gowns she wore were of rustling silk. He never in
any dream, waking or sleeping, associated her with poverty or sorrow or
pain. Gay and beautiful, she moved from city to city, in these visions
of David's, looking always at wonderful things, and finding laughter in
every happening.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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