Old Dr. Werner, after his own simple and cordial manner, begged Johanna
to return to them. Mathilde assured her in choice phraseology that she
should rejoice to welcome her dear foster-sister, who, she trusted,
would not feel too deeply the change from the luxury and freedom from
restraint which belonged to an artist's world, to a quiet, monotonous
existence spent in devotion to duty. Ludwig, writing in his turn, feared
lest he might have wounded her by his bluntness in their last interview,
and offered, if for any reason she would avoid living beneath the same
roof with him, to spend the winter in Weimar, where he could easily
complete his work.
The advantage that the public library in Weimar would be to him would be
an abundant motive to assign for this step, and he added: "What I shall
do with myself afterwards I do not know. At all events, all idea of the
Lindenbad idyl is relinquished. I pray you to acquaint me unreservedly
with your wishes, and I assure you that you will delight us all by
coming to us, and most of all your brother LUDWIG."
"How good and kind he is!" Johanna said to herself. "It is a great pity
that, with all his goodness and kindness, he should be so unattractive."
Otto's image rose in her memory in strong contrast,--the elegant ease of
his bearing, his courtesy, which occasionally seemed more than mere
courtesy, his fine figure and handsome face. Was her grandfather like
him? And the beautiful Magelone,--did she really possess everything that
he ascribed to her,--beauty, wit, talent, amiability? Perhaps he loved
her.
"All are loved save myself," Johanna thought. "I have been here a whole
year, and have won no single heart except that of my little sister, who
would soon, after the fashion of a child, forget me were I to leave her.
Ludwig's love I lost before I knew that I possessed it, and even the
father whom I idolized had not a single thought for me in his last
moments."
Her own sentiments, however, she vowed to herself, never should be
influenced by this knowledge. As in a sanctuary, she would guard and
cherish in her heart the memory of her father and of the lofty service
he had rendered to art, and where could she better do this than here,
where everything reminded her of him, where she inhaled, as it were, the
aroma of his personality? The longer she reflected, the clearer was her
conviction that she must stay where she was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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