A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary AuthorsStewart, Donald Ogden
History
A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary Authors
Stewart, Donald Ogden
Parodies; United States -- History -- Humor
bout 1 qt & wouldnt that knock you for a cockide gool Ethen, only I
guess you arent surprised knowing how much I can holt without feeling
any affects. Well I was feeling pretty good on acct. of drinking the
pride of Boston under the tabel & not feeling any affects only I was
feeling good like a fello naturely feels & the fellos kind of made a lot
of fuss on acct. me drinking him under the tabel so I couldnt very well
of gone home then & after a while Charley Davis made a speech & well
comed me into the minit men & so I am a minit man Ethen but I cant
exackly explain it to you until I see Charley again because he didnt
make it very clear that night. Well after a while we woke the Boston
fish up & we all went home & I was feeling pretty good on acct. it being
such a nice night & all the stars being out & etc. & when I got home I
said Prudence guess what hapend & she says I can guess & I says Prudence
I have been elect it a minit man & she says well go on up stares & sleep
it off & I says sleep what off & she says stop talking so loud do you
want the naybers to wake up & I says whos talking loud & she says o go
to bed & I says I am talking in conversational tones & she says well
you must be conversing with somebody in Boston & I says o you mean that
little blond on Beecon St. & Ethen she went a 1,000,000 mi. up in the
air & I seen it wasnt no use to try & tell her that the reason I was
feeling good was on acct. having drank a Boston swelt hed to sleep
without feeling any affects & I bet the next time I get a chanct I am
going to get snooted right because a fello gets blamed just as much if
he doesnt feel the affects as if he was brought home in a stuper & I
was just kidding her about that blond on Beecon St. Some women dont know
when they are well off Ethen & I bet that guy from Bostons Tom Duffy
I mean wife wishes she was in Prudences shoes instead of her having
married a man what cant holt no more than a qt. without being brought
home in a stuper. Best rgds. Ed.
Friend Ethen--
Well Ethen this is a funny world & when I joined the minit men last mo.
how was I to know that they called them minit men because they was lible
to get shot any minit. & here I am riteing to you in a tent outside
Boston & any minit a canon ball is lible to knock me for a continental
loop & my house has been burnt & Prudence is up in Conk Cord with her
sister the one who married that short skate dum bell Collins who has
owed me 2 lbs. for a yr. & 1/2 well Ethen it never ranes but it pores &
you can be glad you are liveing in a nice quiet place like Philly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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