A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary AuthorsStewart, Donald Ogden
History
A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary Authors
Stewart, Donald Ogden
Parodies; United States -- History -- Humor
I then read to Mr. Harding Browning's "Evelyn Hope". He said that he
knew a Mrs. Walter Hope in Marion, but that he was not sure her first
name was Evelyn. As I knew that Mr. Harding liked a good pun, I remarked
facetiously that "hope springs eternal", meaning that probably there
were in existence several families of that name.
I am happy to state that with that meeting began a friendship which
has lasted for many years. When Mr. Harding was nominated for the
presidency, I wrote at once, enclosing a copy of "The Advance of the
English Novel" which I had published in 1916. On the title-page I wrote,
"To the Hero of a Much More Spectacular Advance", meaning that the
progress made by the English novel was as nothing compared to Mr.
Harding's rapid and well-deserved rise. In reply I received the
following:
6 July, 1920. MY DEAR
PROFESSOR PHELPS:
Many thanks to you for your congratulations and your kindness in sending
me your brilliant, searching essays which I hope to be able to read in
the near future. WARREN G. HARDING.
Just as I am always glad that I am an American, so I think we should all
believe whole-heartedly in the glorious future which lies ahead of us.
We should all pay high tribute to the ideals and sincerity of those
great leaders Woodrow Wilson and Warren Harding. What a pity that some
people believe that there is any antagonism or essential difference in
the aims of those two worthy men. Both are absolutely sincere--both
try to make the world a better, more happy place. And to the critic of
history--as to the critic of art and literature--those are the essential
things. Viewing the past and glimpsing the future of American history I
cannot help feeling that Browning had us perhaps unconsciously in mind
when he wrote:
God's in his heaven: All's right with the world!
Chapter Two
CRISTOFER COLOMBO A Comedy of Discovery. In the Manner of James Branch
Cabell
In fourteen hundred ninety two In the city of Genoa.
--Old Song.
They of Genoa tell with a shrug how in the old days Cristofer Colombo
whom men called the Dreamer left Dame Colombo to go in search of the
land of his imagining.
And the tale tells how, on a twilight Thursday, Colombo walked alone
on the edge of a doubtful wood, and viewed many things not salutary
to notice. And there came to him one who was as perversely tall as
a certain unmentionable object and bearded in a manner it is not
convenient to describe.
But Colombo set about that which the stranger said was necessary and
when he had finished he drank the contents of the curious skull as had
been foretold on a certain All-Saints day. Then it was that the stranger
spoke.
"Whom are you", said he, "to be thus wandering in the very unspeakable
forest of the very unnamable sorcerer Thyrston?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account