A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary AuthorsStewart, Donald Ogden
History
A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary Authors
Stewart, Donald Ogden
Parodies; United States -- History -- Humor
Philip glanced nervously through the pages of the Temps. He was anxious
to get the letter to the post--to have done with indecision and worry.
It would be a blessed relief when the thing was finally done beyond
chance of recall; why couldn't that stupid waiter hurry?
On the last page of the newspaper was an item headlined "Recent News
from America." Below was a sub-heading "Horrible Massacre of Soldiers by
Indians--Brave Stand of American Troopers." He caught the name "Custer"
and read:
"And by his brave death at the hands of the Indians, this gallant
American general has made the name of Custer one which will forever be
associated with courage of the highest type."
He read it all through again and sat quietly as the hand of Polyphemus
closed over him. He even smiled a little--a weary, ironic smile.
"Monsieur desires something more, perhaps"--the waiter held out the
bill.
Philip smiled. "No--Monsieur has finished--there is nothing more."
Then he repeated slowly, "There is nothing more."
* * * * *
Philip watched his son George blow out the twelve candles on his
birthday cake.
"Mother," said George, "when I get to be eighteen, can I be a soldier
just like grandfather up there?" He pointed to the portrait of Philip's
father in uniform which hung in the dining room.
"Of course you can, dear," said his mother. "But you must be a brave
boy".
"Grandfather was awful brave, wasn't he father?" This from little Mary
between mouthfuls of cake.
"Yes, Mary," Philip answered. "He was very, very brave."
"Of course he was," said George. "He was an American."
"Yes," answered Philip, "That explains it.--he was an American."
Mrs. Custer looked up at the portrait of her distinguished
father-in-law.
"You know Philip, I think it must be quite nice to be able to paint a
picture like that. I've often wondered why you never kept up your art."
CHAPTER NINE
"FOR THE FREEDOM OF THE WORLD"
A DRAMA OF THE GREAT WAR
Act I: In the Manner of Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews
Act 2: In the Manner of Eugene O'Neill
ACT ONE
(Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews)
SCENE I
A principal street of an American city in the spring of 1918.
At the rear of the stage, representing the opposite sidewalk of the
street, are gathered many people come to bid farewell to the boys of the
Blankth regiment who are soon to march past on their way to France.
Extending across the "street", from footlights to "sidewalk", is a large
white plaster arch, gayly decorated with the Allied colors.
On this arch is the inscription "For the Freedom of the World."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account