A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary AuthorsStewart, Donald Ogden
History
A Parody Outline of History: Wherein May Be Found a Curiously Irreverent Treatment of American Historical Events, Imagining Them as They Would Be Narrated by America's Most Characteristic Contemporary Authors
Stewart, Donald Ogden
Parodies; United States -- History -- Humor
At the rising of the curtain, distant march music is heard (off stage,
right); this constantly grows louder during the ensuing dialogue which
takes place between three elderly women crowded together at the edge
of the sidewalk. These women, although, before the war, of different
stations in social rank, are now united, as are all mothers in the
Allied countries, by the glorious badge which each proudly wears pinned
over her heart--the service star.
The Professor's Wife--I hear them coming.
The Street-cleaner's Wife--So do I. I hope my boy Pat sees me.
The Pawnbroker's Wife--I told my Jean where to look.
The approaching music and the cheering of the spectators drowns out
further conversation.
Enter (right) the regimental band playing the "Stars and Stripes
Forever." They march through the arch and exit left. Following them
comes the flag, at the sight of which all the male spectators (young
boys and men too old to fight) remove their hats. After the colors come
the troops, splendid clean faced fellows, in whose eyes shines the light
of civilization's ideals, in whose ears rings the never forgettable cry
of heroic France and brave little Belgium. The boys are marching four
abreast, with a firm determined step; it is as though each man were
saying to himself "They shall not pass."
After the first few squads have marched through the arch and off left,
the command is issued off-stage "Company--HALT." A young lieutenant
repeats this order to his men, and the column comes to a stop. The men
stand at attention until given the command "Rest", when they relax and
a murmur of conversation arises from the ranks, in which characteristic
sentences "German ideals are not our ideals" and "Suppose it was your
own sister" show only too well what the boys are thinking of day and
night.
As the column halts, the three service star mothers rush out from the
curb and embrace their sons who happen to be in this company. At the
same time a very attractive girl runs up to the young lieutenant.
The Lieutenant--Ellen!
His Fiancee--John!
The Professor's Son}
The Streetcleaner's Son } Mother!
The Pawnbroker's Son }
The Professor's Wife }
The Streetcleaner's Wife } My Boy!
The Pawnbroker's Wife }
Voice off stage--Company--Atten SHUN!
The farewells are said, the men come to attention.
Voice off stage--Forward--MARCH
The Lieutenant--(Pointing with his sword to the inscription on the
arch)--Forward for the Freedom of the World--MARCH.
The men's teeth click together, their heads are thrown back, and with a
light in their eyes that somehow suggests Joan of Arc the Crusaders move
on.
SCENE 2
Three months later.
A section of an American front line trench now occupied by the Blankth
regiment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account