Businessmen -- Fiction; Human-alien encounters -- Fiction; Life on other planets -- Fiction; Science fiction
Bill let out a sigh of relief and pushed the doorbell buzzer. He let
out a wild yell. A fiery something grabbed his finger. Knives seemed to
jab up his arm and slid down his spine. He reeled back among the Uvans
who watched him as though this were all a very lively experiment.
"What the devil happened?" Bill gasped.
"Electric," answered one of the Uvans.
"Electric," Bill murmured. Then the light dawned. The electric buzzer
on the door wasn't insulated. He had punched a live wire.
The cumulative strain of being followed by the grape-headed natives,
then the shock from the buzzer had its effects on Bill. His legs sagged
uncertainly and a cold sweat broke out, bathing his brow. He reached
in one pocket, bringing forth a handy flask of super-potent Venusian
brandy and unscrewed the cap.
Raising the flask, he felt the searing warmth trickle down his throat.
What happened an instant later couldn't have come from the brandy.
Bill felt something hit him from all four sides. It had the composite
solidness of an avalanche, a few battering rams and a dozen Uvans.
A second before his consciousness keeled over backward into a depthless
funnel of darkness he was under the distinct impression of seeing his
brandy flask spin upward, spilling liquor over an orange-eyed Uvan. But
that wasn't all. The Uvan simply dissolved before his eyes like a sugar
man soaked by water!
* * * * *
With his eyes still shut, his neck and wrists clamped in the pillory,
these last thoughts flashed through Bill's mind. Was it a crime to
drink on Uva? What about the caviar? Why had the Uvans jumped on him
without explaining? What were they going to do now?
A bustle of excitement in the market-place caused him to open his eyes
again. He saw the stubby bodied Uvans pushing two new pillories into
place, one on each side of Bill's.
It was then that Bill gasped. His eyes blinked in incredible wonder.
"It's not possible!" he murmured. The head thrust through the pillory
on the right was familiarly dainty--yes, Kitty Carlton!
Bill's astonished eyes swerved to the left.
"Castlebottom!" he shouted.
Castlebottom, with his pudgy neck uncomfortably pinched in the tight
pillory slot, fussed and fumed with impotent rage. "Get me out of
here!" he cried. "Someone will suffer. I say, there!"
Bill grinned, highly pleased. He twisted his head around as far as it
would go, looking toward Kitty Carlton. "You hardly look put out,"
he commented. The girl did look rather pleased with the situation,
despite the unyielding wooden collar.
Kitty smiled. "I'm not," she said.
"How'd you get here?"
"Very simple," said Kitty, her eyes flashing from Bill to Castlebottom.
"Tubby wanted to marry me. I agreed to elope. It's so romantic you
know. I thought Uva would be just the place."
"You mean Tubby ... ah ... Castlebottom agreed to elope and be married
on Uva?"
"Well, he didn't know about that part of it!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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