A Proposal Under Difficulties: A FarceBangs, John Kendrick
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A Proposal Under Difficulties: A Farce
Bangs, John Kendrick
American drama -- 19th century; Comedy plays; Marriage proposals -- Drama; New York (N.Y.) -- Drama
[_YARDSLEY turns half around, and is about to speak, when he
catches sight of the now almost hysterical JENNIE and her
feather-duster._
_Barlow._ Yes; I think so too. I was at Lenox last week, and the foliage
was gorgeous.
_Yardsley_ (_feeling that he must say something_). Yes. I suppose all
the feathers on the maple-trees are turning red by this time.
_Dorothy._ Feathers, Mr. Yardsley?
_Barlow._ Feathers?
_Yardsley_ (_with a furtive glance at JENNIE_). Ha, ha! What an absurd
slip! Did I say feathers? I meant--I meant leaves, of course. All the
leaves on the dusters are turning.
_Barlow._ I don't believe you know what you do mean. Who ever heard of
leaves on dusters? What are dusters? Do you know, Miss Dorothy?
[_As he turns to MISS ANDREWS, YARDSLEY tries to wave JENNIE
away. She beckons with her arms more wildly than ever, and
YARDSLEY silently speaks the words_, "Go away."
_Dorothy._ I'm sure I don't know of any tree by that name, but then I'm
not a--not a what?
_Yardsley_ (_with a forced laugh_). Treeologist.
_Dorothy._ What are dusters, Mr. Yardsley?
_Barlow._ Yes, old man, tell us. I'm anxious to find out myself.
_Yardsley_ (_aside_). So am I. What the deuce are dusters, for this
occasion only? (_Aloud._) What? Never heard of dusters? Ho! Why, dear
me, where have you been all your lives? (_Aside._) Must gain time to
think up what dusters are. (_Aloud._) Why, they're as old as the hills.
_Barlow._ That may be, but I can't say I think your description is at
all definite.
_Dorothy._ Do they look like maples?
_Yardsley_ (_with an angry wave of his arms towards JENNIE_).
Something--in fact, very much. They're exactly like them. You can hardly
tell them from oaks.
_Barlow._ Oaks?
_Yardsley._ I said oaks. Oaks! O-A-K-S!
_Barlow._ But oaks aren't like maples.
_Yardsley._ Well, who said they were? We were talking about
oaks--and--erand dusters. We--er--we used to have a row of them in
front of our old house at--(_Aside._) Now where the deuce did we have
the old house? Never had one, but we must for the sake of the present
situation. (_Aloud._) Up at--at--Bryn-Mawr--or at--Troy, or some such
place, and--at--they kept the--the dust of the highway from getting into
the house. (_With a sigh of relief._) And so, you see, they were called
dusters. Thought every one knew that.
[_As YARDSLEY finishes, JENNIE loses her balance and falls
headlong into the room._
_Dorothy_ (_starting up hastily_). Why, Jennie!
_Yardsley_ (_staggering into chair_). That settles it. It's all up with
me.
[_JENNIE sobs, and, rising, rushes to YARDSLEY'S side._
_Jennie._ Save yourself; he's going to kill you!
_Dorothy._ Jennie! What is the meaning of this? Mr. Yardsley--can--can
you shed any light on this mystery?
_Yardsley_ (_pulling himself together with a great effort_). I? I assure
you I can't, Miss Andrews. How could I? All I know is that somebody
is--is going to kill me, though for what I haven't the slightest idea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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