A Proposal Under Difficulties: A FarceBangs, John Kendrick
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A Proposal Under Difficulties: A Farce
Bangs, John Kendrick
American drama -- 19th century; Comedy plays; Marriage proposals -- Drama; New York (N.Y.) -- Drama
_Jennie_ (_indignantly_). Eh? What? Why, Mr. Yardsley--Bob!
_Barlow._ Bob?
_Dorothy._ Jennie! Bob?
[Illustration: "WHY, JENNIE!"]
_Yardsley._ Don't you call me Bob.
_Jennie._ It's Hicks.
[_Bursts out crying._
_Barlow._ Hicks?
_Dorothy._ Jennie, Hicks isn't Bob. His name is George.
_Yardsley_ (_in a despairing rage_). Hicks be--
_Dorothy._ Mr. Yardsley!
_Yardsley_ (_pulling himself together again_). Bobbed. Hicks be Bobbed.
That's what I was going to say.
_Dorothy._ What on earth does this all mean? I must have an explanation,
Jennie. What have you to say for yourself?
_Jennie._ Why, I--
_Yardsley._ I tell you it isn't true. She's made it up out of whole
cloth.
_Barlow._ What isn't true? She hasn't said anything yet.
_Yardsley_ (_desperately_). I refer to what she's going to say. I'm
a--a--I'm a mind-reader, and I see it all as plain as day.
_Dorothy._ I can best judge of the truth of Jennie's words when she has
spoken them, Mr. Yardsley. Jennie, you may explain, if you can. What do
you mean by Hicks killing Mr. Yardsley, and why do you presume to call
Mr. Yardsley by his first name?
_Yardsley_ (_aside_). Heigho! My goose is cooked.
_Barlow._ I fancy you wish you had taken that walk I suggested now.
_Yardsley._ You always were a good deal of a fancier.
_Jennie._ I hardly knows how to begin, Miss Dorothy. I--I'm so
flabbergasted by all that's happened this afternoon, mum, that I can't
get my thoughts straight, mum.
_Dorothy._ Never mind getting your thoughts straight, Jennie. I do not
want fiction. I want the truth.
_Jennie._ Well, mum, when a fine gentleman like Mr. Yardsley asks--
_Yardsley._ I tell you it isn't so.
_Jennie._ Indeed he did, mum.
_Dorothy_ (_impatiently_). Did what?
_Jennie._ Axed me to marry him, mum.
_Dorothy._ Mr. Yardsley--asked--you--to--to marry him?
[_BARLOW whistles._
_Jennie_ (_bursting into tears again_). Yes, mum, he did, mum, right
here in this room. He got down on his knees to me on that Proossian rug
before the sofa, mum. I was standin' behind the sofa, havin' just come
in to tell him as how you'd be down shortly. He was standin' before the
lookin'-glass lookin' at himself, an' when I come in he turns around and
goes down on his knees and says such an importunity may not occur again,
mum; I've loved you very long; and then he recited some pottery, mum,
and said would I be his wife.
_Yardsley_ (_desperately_). Let me explain.
_Dorothy._ Wait; Mr. Yardsley; your turn will come in a moment.
_Barlow._ Yes, it'll be here, my boy; don't fret about that. Take all
the time you need to make it a good one. Gad! if this doesn't strain
your imagination, nothing will.
_Dorothy._ Go on, Jennie. Then what happened?
_Yardsley_ (_with an injured expression_). Do you expect me to stand
here, Miss Andrews, and hear this girl's horrible story?
_Barlow._ Then you know the story, do you, Yardsley? It's horrible, and
you are innocent. My! you are a mind-reader with a vengeance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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