A Question of MarriageVaizey, George de Horne, Mrs.
General
A Question of Marriage
Vaizey, George de Horne, Mrs.
Single women -- Fiction
"Quite true, every word true. You are theorising, dear, and there's not
an argument against you. But leave theories alone for a moment and look
at facts. How many parents and children--grown-up children--do you find
who live together in sympathy and understanding? Precious few.
Sometimes there's an open feud; that's rare, and can't go on in the
nature of things; sometimes there's an armed truce; sometimes there are
successions of jars; almost always there's a gulf. They see with
different eyes, and hear with different ears, and each side thinks the
other blind and deaf. One side lacks sympathy, the other imagination.
It seems the most difficult thing in the world to `put yourself in his
place.'"
"I don't know. If I'd had my own mother, it seems to me we would have
been _friends_. It wouldn't have needed a great exercise of sympathy to
realise that she was old and tired, tired with looking after _me_; and
if I had made a friend of her and talked to her, and--_told_ her things,
she would have sympathised with me in return. I _know_ she would. I
feel it!"
"Did you, `tell things' to Aunt Mary?"
"No, of course not. That was different."
"Ah, you think so; but it is not. It's the generation that's the bar,
not the person," cried Jean with one of her quick flashes of intuition.
"Youth wants youth and looks for it, and finds it easier to confide in a
girl after a week's acquaintance than in her very own mother, I've seen
it not once, but dozens of times. It doesn't mean that she loves her
more, or a tenth part as much, but in a curious, inexplicable way she's
_nearer_. It's hard on the parents. Every age has its own trials: love
troubles when you are young; weakness when you are old; when you are
middle-aged it must be just this, to yearn after your children, to long
to help and comfort, and to see them prefer some one else! I'm sorry
for parents; but why do they grow so old? If I have a daughter, I shall
keep young for her sake. At least I shall remember that I _was_ young.
I shall never say: `the rain is coming down in sheets, the wind is in
the east. I can't think why you can't be content by your own fireside,
instead of racing half over the town,' I shan't be overcome with
surprise when she forgets to order the fish on the eve of a proposal, or
expect her to look a fright in mackintosh and goloshes when she goes out
with men friends. I shall remember how I preferred to look nice, even
if my feet _were_ soaked!"
"You may also remember that you suffered from rheumatism thereby, and
wish her to profit from your experience."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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