England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Love stories; Marriage -- Fiction
And Nicky, triumphantly plucking from her hand four pink-backed cards,
slaps them down upon the table face upwards. They are apparently
family portraits. The first--that of Bones _père_--depicts a smug
gentleman, with appropriate mutton-chop whiskers, mutilating a
fearsome joint upon a block; the second, Mrs Bones, an ample matron in
apple-green, proffering to an unseen customer a haunch of what looks
like anæmic cab-horse; the third, Miss Bones, engaged in extracting
nourishment from a colossal bone shaped like a dumb-bell; the fourth,
Master Bones (bearing a strong family likeness to his papa), creeping
unwillingly upon an errand, clad in canary trousers and a blue
jacket, with a sirloin of beef nestling against his right ear.
It was Saturday night at the Rectory, and the Vereker family--"those
absurdly handsome Rectory children," as old Lady Curlew, of Hainings,
invariably called them--sat round the dining-room table playing "Happy
Families." The rules which govern this absorbing pastime are simple.
The families are indeed happy. They contain no widows and no orphans,
and each pair of parents possesses one son and one daughter--perhaps
the perfect number, for the sides of the house are equally balanced
both for purposes of companionship and in the event of sex-warfare. As
for procedure, cards are dealt round, and each player endeavours, by
requests based upon observation and deduction, to reunite within his
own hand the members of an entire family,--an enterprise which, while
it fosters in those who undertake it a reverence for the unities of
home life, offers a more material and immediate reward in the shape of
one point for each family collected. We will look over the shoulders
of the players as they sit, and a brief consideration of each hand and
of the tactics of its owner will possibly give us the key to the
respective dispositions of the Vereker family, as well as a useful
lesson in the art of acquiring that priceless possession, a Happy
Family.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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