England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Love stories; Marriage -- Fiction
Here peace reigned. Stiffy, one of whose chief joys in life was the
study of the British Railway System, from Automatic Couplings to
Newspaper Specials, was sitting up in bed with an old _Bradshaw_,
laboriously ascertaining by how many routes and with how few changes
the ordinary railway maniac might travel from Merthyr-Tydvil to
Stockton-on-Tees. At the other end of the room the ever-occupied
Anthony, with his night-shirt for a surplice and a stocking for a
stole, was standing by an open grave (the hearthrug) rehearsing the
opening passages of the Service for the Burial of the Dead,--an
exercise to which, in common with various other ecclesiastical
offices, he was much addicted.
Daphne, having kissed Stiffy and gravely given her verdict upon a
knotty point which was exercising that scrupulous youth's mind,
namely, whether it was permissible by the rules of the game to include
in his schedule of connections a train which ran on Thursdays Only,
handed him his weekly dole of clean linen and turned to the youngest
member of the family.
"Good-morning, Tony dear," she said cheerfully.
The celebrant, who, true artist that he was, disliked unnecessary
abruptness in his transitions, stopped short in the Ninetieth Psalm.
"Dearly Beloved Brethren," he gabbled in an apologetic undertone, "I
am called for a moment from the side of this the last resting-place of
our lamented sister"--apparently it was a lady friend he was
interring--"by other business; but I shall be back in a minute." Then,
unwinding the stocking from about his neck--
"Daphne, those new vests are beastly scratchy. Must I wear them?"
"I know, old man," responded his sister sympathetically. "But they've
been bought and paid for--horribly dear, too!--so you must lump it.
Try wearing them inside out for a time. That takes the edge off a
bit."
And thus, with sage counsel and practical suggestion (together with a
brief whistle to Mr Dawks, who was moistening his internal clay at the
water-jug), our young Minerva passed on to the sleeping-place of her
beloved Ally.
Rather to her surprise, Mr Aloysius Vereker was awake and out of
bed. The reason was plain. Before him upon the dressing-table
lay a pot of shaving-soap of a widely advertised brand, a new
shaving-brush, a sixpenny bottle of bay rum, and a lather dish of
red indiarubber,--youthful extravagances to which the hardened
shaver of twenty years' standing, who smears himself with ordinary
Brown Windsor out of the soap-dish and wipes his razor on a piece
of newspaper or the window-curtain, looks back with mingled
amusement and regret. In his hand gleamed a new razor.
"Careful!" he gasped through a sea of lather. "Don't shake the room,
kid!"
Daphne sat cautiously down upon the bed, and surveyed the operator
with unfeigned pride and enthusiasm. She clasped her hands.
"Ally, how splendid! When did you begin doing it?"
Ally, weathering a hairless and slippery corner, replied--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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