I was for several days in a such distressed state of mind, that I had not courage enough to go out; for I thought every body knew what was the matter with me; and to appease my wounded conscience, I thought that a reformation would have been sufficient to justify me in the sight of GOD: so that I began to build, as it is said upon a sandy foundation, by performing a few formal duties; thinking that by my good works, I should merit the favours of GOD so as to forgive me all my trespasses. The plan I had formed was this: having a Roman Catholic prayer book, I thought it was all-sufficient to calm my troubled breast, and to bring me to a perfect state of happiness. So every night and morning I used to kneel down, and taking the prayer book I read the morning and evening prayer; this performance I thought would please GOD, and get me from under the terrors of an accused conscience: but in all these vain duties I never looked to JESUS for forgiveness or remission of sins, neither to his precious and cleansing blood, nor could I perceive the depravity of my corrupted nature: but I depended wholly upon my best endeavours and good works. I continued but a little time in doing those erroneous duties, and felt insensibly at last that all my fears were vanished away; I was like the dog, returning to his vomit again: for I begun the same method as before, keeping all sorts of bad company, and breaking the sabbath with drinking, swearing and fighting &c. I was at the least five days drunk in the week, and always quarrelling.