During the time of my affliction, I had such ideas and thoughts concerning my state, that I appeared to myself the vilest of men; but for all that I did not know from whence came these thoughts and ideas. I was six or seven weeks before I could walk out; and was a great while before I could get any strength. I was five months in the most distressing state of mind, and continually tormented by some thing or other, which I could not discern. Some times I went out to meditate a little, but no sooner was I out, but was forced to return home again; because I could not rest any where. One day after many dreadful and frightful ideas, I felt some thing extraordinary in me; and then for the first time, I perceived that I was a sinner[24]; and one beyond expression: I saw the horrible state in which I was plunged; I felt that I was upon the very brink of destruction: and felt also, that no one could alleviate my pains but GOD. For that purpose I went to church; when there, I could hear nothing that could do me any good. At night I went to the Methodist Chapel; there I did not find any comfort so as to set me free. When at home, I went to prayer; but could say nothing but the LORD's prayer, which I knew from my infancy. [24] Though I had had a taste and a view of the love of GOD, (_as you may read in the former part of my life_,) and a great desire to serve and worship him; yet I did not feel the corruption of my fallen nature, neither the great weight and burden of my inveterate sins and transgressions: I was far from thinking of the inestimable worth and want of a precious SAVIOUR. I had a zeal, but not according to knowledge; I was like that sect which the Apostle Paul speaks of in the tenth chapter of Romans and the third verse: for they, being ignorant of GOD's Righteousness, and going about to establish their own Righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the Righteousness of GOD. "I thank GOD, through the LORD JESUS CHRIST, that He has subjected me unto his blessed and Everlasting Righteousness; and made me sensible of this, that without the Blood of his dear Son, my sins must for ever remain."