many young impressions come back to me as gathered at his side and in
his personal haunts. Not that he mustn't have offered his firstborn at
least equal opportunities; but I make out that he seldom led us forth,
such as we were, together, and my brother must have had in _his_ turn
many a mild adventure of which the secret--I like to put it so--perished
with him. He was to remember, as I perceived later on, many things that
I didn't, impressions I sometimes wished, as with a retracing jealousy,
or at least envy, that I might also have fallen direct heir to; but he
professed amazement, and even occasionally impatience, at my reach of
reminiscence--liking as he did to brush away old moral scraps in favour
of new rather than to hoard and so complacently exhibit them. If in my
way I collected the new as well I yet cherished the old; the ragbag of
memory hung on its nail in my closet, though I learnt with time to
control the habit of bringing it forth. And I say that with a due sense
of my doubtless now appearing to empty it into these pages.
I keep picking out at hazard those passages of our earliest age that
help to reconstruct for me even by tiny touches the experience of our
parents, any shade of which seems somehow to signify. I cherish, to the
extent of here reproducing, an old daguerreotype all the circumstances
of the taking of which I intensely recall--though as I was lately turned
twelve when I figured for it the feat of memory is perhaps not
remarkable. It documents for me in so welcome and so definite a manner
my father's cultivation of my company. It documents at the same time the
absurdest little legend of my small boyhood--the romantic tradition of
the value of being taken up from wherever we were staying to the queer
empty dusty smelly New York of midsummer: I apply that last term because
we always arrived by boat and I have still in my nostril the sense of
the _abords_ of the hot town, the rank and rubbishy waterside quarters,
where big loose cobbles, for the least of all the base items, lay
wrenched from their sockets of pungent black mud and where the dependent
streets managed by a law of their own to be all corners and the corners
to be all groceries; groceries indeed largely of the "green" order, so
far as greenness could persist in the torrid air, and that bristled, in
glorious defiance of traffic, with the overflow of their wares and
implements. Carts and barrows and boxes and baskets, sprawling or
stacked, familiarly elbowed in its course the bumping hack (the
comprehensive "carriage" of other days, the only vehicle of hire then
known to us) while the situation was accepted by the loose citizen in
the garb of a freeman save for the brass star on his breast--and the New
York garb of the period was, as I remember it, an immense attestation of
liberty. Why the throb of romance should have beat time for me to such
visions I can scarce explain, or can explain only by the fact that the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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