That's a way Gordon has. From one subject he leaps to another like a
canary hopping on the sticks of his cage; but there is method in his
madness. He swiftly exhausts the possibilities of a remark and goes to
another without losing time.
"The animals," I answered, "are a rather dull and probably uninteresting
lot. First, come two girls who live in a hall bedroom, together."
"It shows on their part an admirable power of concentration."
"I suppose so; their conversation is chiefly reminiscent and plentifully
dotted with 'says I' and 'says she' and 'says he.' They are honest young
persons and work in a large candy-shop. Hence they must be surfeited
with sweets at a deplorably early age."
"Not with all of them; they will find some hitherto untasted, but just
as cloying in the end," remarked Gordon.
"I hope not. There is also an elderly couple living on the bounty of a
son who travels in collars and cuffs. Sells them, you know. Then I've
seen three men who work somewhere and occasionally comment upon what
they see in the newspaper. Murders fill them with joy, and, to them,
accidents are beer and skittles. I suspect that they esteem themselves
as what they are pleased to call 'wise guys,' but they are of refreshing
innocence and sterling honesty. One of them borrowed a dollar from me,
the other day, to take the two girls to the movies. He returned it on
next pay day."
"Look out, David, he may be trying to establish a credit," Gordon warned
me. "You are such an easy mark!"
"I'll be careful," I assured him. "Then we have a poor relation of the
landlady. He looks out for the furnace in winter and is a night watchman
in a bank. An inoffensive creature who reads the papers the other
boarders throw away."
"Altogether it makes up a beautiful and cheering totality of ineptitude,
endowed with the souls of shuttles or cogwheels," opined Gordon.
"Well, as Shylock says, if you prick them, they bleed," I protested. "At
any rate they must have some close affinity with the general scheme of
Nature."
"Nature, my dear Dave, is a dustbin in which a few ragmen succeed in
finding an occasional crust of dry bread wherewith to help fill the pot
and make their hearts glad. It is a horribly wasteful organization by
which a lady cod produces a million eggs that one fish may possibly
reach maturity and chowder. Four trees planted on a hill commonly die,
but, if you stick in a few thousands, there may be a percentage of
survivals, besides nuts for the squirrels. Humanity represents a few
tall trees and a host of scrubs."
Thus does Gordon always lay down the law, to which I generally listen
with some amusement. He is dogmatic and incredulous, though he lacks
scepticism in regard to his own opinions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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