United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
[Picture: Music: This gro-o-oanin’ world’s too dark and dre-e-ar for the
saints’ e-ter-nal rest]
This hymn, if it did not wholly reconcile one to death, enabled one to
look upon life with sufficient solemnity. It was a thousand pities, she
thought, that the old hearse was so shabby and rickety, and that Gooly
Eldridge, who drove it, would insist on wearing a faded peach-blow
overcoat. It was exasperating to think of the public spirit at Egypt,
and contrast it with the state of things at Pleasant River. In Egypt,
they had sold the old hearse-house for a sausage-shop, and now they were
having “hearse sociables” every month to raise money for a new one.
All these details flew through Aunt Hitty’s mind in fascinating
procession. There shouldn’t be “a hitch” anywhere. There had been a
hitch at her last funeral, but she had been only an assistant there.
Matt Henderson had been struck by lightning at the foot of Squire Bean’s
old nooning tree, and certain circumstances combined to make the funeral
one of unusual interest, so much so much so that fat old Mrs. Potter from
Deerwander created a sensation at the cemetery. She was so anxious to
get where she could see everything to the best advantage that she crowded
too near the bier, stepped on the sliding earth, and pitched into the
grave. As she weighed over two hundred pounds, and was in a position of
some disadvantage, it took five men to extricate her from the dilemma,
and the operation made a long and somewhat awkward break in the religious
services. Aunt Hitty always said of this catastrophe, “If I’d ’a’ be’n
Mis’ Potter, I’d ’a’ be’n so mortified I believe I’d ’a’ said, ‘I wa’n’t
plannin’ to be buried, but now I’m in here I declare I’ll stop.’”
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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