American fiction -- 19th century; Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; San Francisco (Calif.) -- Fiction
But he had not taken into consideration her voice, which, always
musical in its Southern intonation and quite audible in the quiet
garden, struck him now as being full of joyous sweetness. Well, she
was certainly very happy--or very thoughtless. She was actually
romping with Milly, and was now evidently being chased down the
rose-alley by that volatile young woman. Then these swift Camillas
apparently neared the house, there was the rapid rustle of skirts, the
skurrying of little feet on the veranda, a stumble, a mouse-like shriek
from Milly, and HER voice, exhausted, dying, happy, broken with
half-hushed laughter, rose to him on the breath of the jessamine and
rose.
Surely she WAS a child, and, if a child, how he had misjudged her! What
if all that he had believed was mature deliberation was only the
innocent imaginings of a romantic girl, all that he had taken seriously
only a school-girl's foolish dream! Instead of combating it, instead
of reasoning with her, instead of trying to interest her in other
things, he had even helped on her illusions. He had treated her as if
the taint of her mother's worldliness and knowledge of evil was in her
pure young flesh. He had recognized her as the daughter of an
adventuress, and not as his ward, appealing to his chivalry through her
very ignorance--it might be her very childish vanity. He had brought
to a question of tender and pathetic interest only his selfish opinion
of the world and the weaknesses of mankind. The blood came to his
cheeks--with all his experienced self-control, he had not lost the
youthful trick of blushing--and he turned away from the window as if it
had breathed a reproach.
But ought he have even contented himself with destroying her
illusions--ought he not have gone farther and told her the whole truth?
Ought he not first have won her confidence--he remembered bitterly,
now, how she had intimated that she had no one to confide in--and,
after revealing her mother's history, have still pledged himself to
keep the secret from all others, and assisted her in her plan? It
would not have altered the state of affairs, except so far as she was
concerned; they could have combined together; his ready wit would have
helped him; and his sympathy would have sustained her; but--
How and in what way could he have told her? Leaving out the delicate
and difficult periphrase by which her mother's shame would have to be
explained to an innocent school-girl--what right could he have assumed
to tell it? As the guardian who had never counseled or protected her?
As an acquaintance of hardly an hour ago? Who would have such a right?
A lover--on whose lips it would only seem a tacit appeal to her
gratitude or her fears, and whom no sensitive girl could accept
thereafter? No. A husband? Yes! He remembered, with a sudden start,
what Pendleton had said to him. Good Heavens! Had Pendleton that idea
in his mind? And yet--it seemed the only solution.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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