_Foot._ No indeed, Zir, it was a mistake of mine; I mean it made me cry zo I could not leave it. _Cank._ Leave your blundering, you blockhead, and tell me how it was received; did they hiss it? _Foot._ Yes Zir, yes Zir, there was as much hizzing as when your Tragedy was acted. _Cank._ Rascal, how dare you mention that, hissed. (_Strikes him_) _Foot._ Why what the Devil would you have a Man zay. You be'ent pleased when I tell you it was clapt, nor you be'ent pleased when I tell you it was hissed. (_Cries_) But whether you are pleased or no, I tell you it was clapt very much and was ten times comicaller than your Tragedy, and made the People laugh more. (_Runs off for fear of being beat_) _Cank._ How this ignorant Rascal has teized me by his Account! I can't tell whether it was damned or saved; he said it was clapt--but he said afterwards it was hissed--it may be so for _it is impossible mere Incidents_, which are the chief Merit of this Piece, should make it succeed! Were I sure of that, would I had gone myself! O what a secret Rapture should I have had in the hypocritical Exertion of my seeming good Nature in the Author's behalf. When I was sure it would not serve him, I would have stabbed and wounded his Fame by my pity for his ill Success, 'till I had made both him and his Play as contemptible as Vanity and Dullness, but the Fear of being martyred by its Applause was insupportable. I could never have survived it. (_Enter Mr._ HEARTLY) _Heart._ Mr. Canker, your most humble Servant. _Cank._ Mr. Heartly, yours. _Heart._ Are the Ladies come home from the Play? _Cank._ Not yet, Sir; weren't you there, Mr. Heartly? _Heart._ No, Sir, I had some Business of Consequence which prevented me. _I hear there were prodigious Crowds there and that the House was full by four o'clock._ _Cank._ I am surprized at that, for I think that this Author has never writ for the Stage before. _Heart._ That may be the Reason why he excites such Curiosity now; for the People look upon every new Author as a Candidate for publick Fame or Disgrace; and as the Right of Election is vested in them, each Man's Friendship, Vanity, or Envy prompts him to exert his Authority the first Night, lest he should never have an Opportunity afterwards. _Cank._ Well I wish this Gentleman well of his Election. _I knew him at School and College_, and have some small Acquaintance with him now; a--a--as a Man I like him extremely, but--as--an--a--a--a--a--an Author, a, um,--I wish he had not writ, that's all. _Heart._ Why so Sir, I think there is not a Gentleman in Britain but might be proud of being the Author of a well wrote Play.