LORD ILLINGWORTH. The history of women is the history of the worst form of tyranny the world has ever known. The tyranny of the weak over the strong. It is the only tyranny that lasts. GERALD. But haven’t women got a refining influence? LORD ILLINGWORTH. Nothing refines but the intellect. GERALD. Still, there are many different kinds of women, aren’t there? LORD ILLINGWORTH. Only two kinds in society: the plain and the coloured. GERALD. But there are good women in society, aren’t there? LORD ILLINGWORTH. Far too many. GERALD. But do you think women shouldn’t be good? LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should never tell them so, they’d all become good at once. Women are a fascinatingly wilful sex. Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself. GERALD. You have never been married, Lord Illingworth, have you? LORD ILLINGWORTH. Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed. GERALD. But don’t you think one can be happy when one is married? LORD ILLINGWORTH. Perfectly happy. But the happiness of a married man, my dear Gerald, depends on the people he has not married. GERALD. But if one is in love? LORD ILLINGWORTH. One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. GERALD. Love is a very wonderful thing, isn’t it? LORD ILLINGWORTH. When one is in love one begins by deceiving oneself. And one ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. But a really _grande passion_ is comparatively rare nowadays. It is the privilege of people who have nothing to do. That is the one use of the idle classes in a country, and the only possible explanation of us Harfords. GERALD. Harfords, Lord Illingworth? LORD ILLINGWORTH. That is my family name. You should study the Peerage, Gerald. It is the one book a young man about town should know thoroughly, and it is the best thing in fiction the English have ever done. And now, Gerald, you are going into a perfectly new life with me, and I want you to know how to live. [MRS. ARBUTHNOT _appears on terrace behind_.] For the world has been made by fools that wise men should live in it! [_Enter_ L.C. LADY HUNSTANTON _and_ DR. DAUBENY.] LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! here you are, dear Lord Illingworth. Well, I suppose you have been telling our young friend, Gerald, what his new duties are to be, and giving him a great deal of good advice over a pleasant cigarette. LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have been giving him the best of advice, Lady Hunstanton, and the best of cigarettes.