LADY HUNSTANTON. I am so sorry I was not here to listen to you, but I
suppose I am too old now to learn. Except from you, dear Archdeacon,
when you are in your nice pulpit. But then I always know what you are
going to say, so I don’t feel alarmed. [_Sees_ MRS. ARBUTHNOT.] Ah!
dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, do come and join us. Come, dear. [_Enter_ MRS.
ARBUTHNOT.] Gerald has been having such a long talk with Lord
Illingworth; I am sure you must feel very much flattered at the pleasant
way in which everything has turned out for him. Let us sit down. [_They
sit down_.] And how is your beautiful embroidery going on?
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I am always at work, Lady Hunstanton.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Mrs. Daubeny embroiders a little, too, doesn’t she?
THE ARCHDEACON. She was very deft with her needle once, quite a Dorcas.
But the gout has crippled her fingers a good deal. She has not touched
the tambour frame for nine or ten years. But she has many other
amusements. She is very much interested in her own health.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! that is always a nice distraction, is it not? Now,
what are you talking about, Lord Illingworth? Do tell us.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. I was on the point of explaining to Gerald that the
world has always laughed at its own tragedies, that being the only way in
which it has been able to bear them. And that, consequently, whatever
the world has treated seriously belongs to the comedy side of things.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Now I am quite out of my depth. I usually am when Lord
Illingworth says anything. And the Humane Society is most careless.
They never rescue me. I am left to sink. I have a dim idea, dear Lord
Illingworth, that you are always on the side of the sinners, and I know I
always try to be on the side of the saints, but that is as far as I get.
And after all, it may be merely the fancy of a drowning person.
LORD ILLINGWORTH. The only difference between the saint and the sinner
is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! that quite does for me. I haven’t a word to say.
You and I, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, are behind the age. We can’t follow Lord
Illingworth. Too much care was taken with our education, I am afraid.
To have been well brought up is a great drawback nowadays. It shuts one
out from so much.
MRS. ARBUTHNOT. I should be sorry to follow Lord Illingworth in any of
his opinions.
LADY HUNSTANTON. You are quite right, dear.
[GERALD _shrugs his shoulders and looks irritably over at his mother_.
_Enter_ LADY CAROLINE.]
LADY CAROLINE. Jane, have you seen John anywhere?
LADY HUNSTANTON. You needn’t be anxious about him, dear. He is with
Lady Stutfield; I saw them some time ago, in the Yellow Drawing-room.
They seem quite happy together. You are not going, Caroline? Pray sit
down.
LADY CAROLINE. I think I had better look after John.
[_Exit_ LADY CAROLINE.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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