LADY HUNSTANTON. It doesn’t do to pay men so much attention. And
Caroline has really nothing to be anxious about. Lady Stutfield is very
sympathetic. She is just as sympathetic about one thing as she is about
another. A beautiful nature.
[_Enter_ SIR JOHN _and_ MRS. ALLONBY.]
Ah! here is Sir John! And with Mrs. Allonby too! I suppose it was Mrs.
Allonby I saw him with. Sir John, Caroline has been looking everywhere
for you.
MRS. ALLONBY. We have been waiting for her in the Music-room, dear Lady
Hunstanton.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! the Music-room, of course. I thought it was the
Yellow Drawing-room, my memory is getting so defective. [_To the_
ARCHDEACON.] Mrs. Daubeny has a wonderful memory, hasn’t she?
THE ARCHDEACON. She used to be quite remarkable for her memory, but
since her last attack she recalls chiefly the events of her early
childhood. But she finds great pleasure in such retrospections, great
pleasure.
[_Enter_ LADY STUTFIELD _and_ MR. KELVIL.]
LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! dear Lady Stutfield! and what has Mr. Kelvil been
talking to you about?
LADY STUTFIELD. About Bimetallism, as well as I remember.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Bimetallism! Is that quite a nice subject? However, I
know people discuss everything very freely nowadays. What did Sir John
talk to you about, dear Mrs. Allonby?
MRS. ALLONBY. About Patagonia.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Really? What a remote topic! But very improving, I
have no doubt.
MRS. ALLONBY. He has been most interesting on the subject of Patagonia.
Savages seem to have quite the same views as cultured people on almost
all subjects. They are excessively advanced.
LADY HUNSTANTON. What do they do?
MRS. ALLONBY. Apparently everything.
LADY HUNSTANTON. Well, it is very gratifying, dear Archdeacon, is it
not, to find that Human Nature is permanently one.—On the whole, the
world is the same world, is it not?
LORD ILLINGWORTH. The world is simply divided into two classes—those who
believe the incredible, like the public—and those who do the improbable—
MRS. ALLONBY. Like yourself?
LORD ILLINGWORTH. Yes; I am always astonishing myself. It is the only
thing that makes life worth living.
LADY STUTFIELD. And what have you been doing lately that astonishes you?
LORD ILLINGWORTH. I have been discovering all kinds of beautiful
qualities in my own nature.
MRS. ALLONBY. Ah! don’t become quite perfect all at once. Do it
gradually!
LORD ILLINGWORTH. I don’t intend to grow perfect at all. At least, I
hope I shan’t. It would be most inconvenient. Women love us for our
defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything,
even our gigantic intellects.
MRS. ALLONBY. It is premature to ask us to forgive analysis. We forgive
adoration; that is quite as much as should be expected from us.
[_Enter_ LORD ALFRED. _He joins_ LADY STUTFIELD.]
LADY HUNSTANTON. Ah! we women should forgive everything, shouldn’t we,
dear Mrs. Arbuthnot? I am sure you agree with me in that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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