English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
“I don’t wish to attack that sport, when there are so many much worse,
but by way of showing you how liable all these things are to contribute
to the improvement of our species I will tell you a little experience
of my own. When I was at college I was in a rather sporting set; we
hunted, and played at racing, and loved to be ‘_au courant_’ with all
that sort of thing. One year it so happened that the uncle of one of us
won the Waterloo Cup with a greyhound whose name was--never mind. We
became at once ardent lovers of the sport of coursing, consumed by the
desire to hold a Waterloo Cup Meeting in miniature, with rabbits for
hares and our own terriers for greyhounds. Well, we held it; sixteen
of us nominating our dogs. Now kindly note that of those sixteen eight
at least were members of the aristocracy, and all had been at public
schools of standing and repute. For the purposes of our meeting, of
course, we required fifteen rabbits caught and kept in bags. These
we ordered of a local blackguard, with a due margin over to provide
against such of the rabbits as might die of fright before they were
let out, or be too terrified to run after being loosed. We made the
fellow whose uncle had won the Waterloo Cup judge, apportioned among
ourselves the other officers, and assembled--the judge on horseback,
in case a rabbit might happen to run, say, fifty yards. Assembled with
us were many local cads, two fourth-rate bookies, our excited, yapping
terriers, and twenty-four bagged rabbits. The course was cleared. Two
of us advanced, holding our terriers by the loins; the judge signed
that he was ready; the first rabbit was turned down. It crept out of
the bag, and squatted, close to the ground, with its ears laid back.
The local blackguard stirred it with his foot. It crept two yards, and
squatted closer. All the terriers began shrieking their little souls
out, all the cads began to yell, but the rabbit did not move--its
heart, you see, was broken. At last the local blackguard took it up and
wrung its neck. After that some rabbits ran, and some did not, till all
were killed! The terrier of one of us was judged victor by him whose
uncle had won the Waterloo Cup; and we went back to our colleges to
drink everybody’s health. Now, my friend, mark! We were sixteen decent
youths, converted by infection into sixteen rabbit-catching cads.
Two of us are dead; but the rest of us--what do we think of it now?
I tell you this little incident, to confirm you in your feeling that
pigeon-shooting, coursing, and the like, tend to improve our species,
even here in England.”
§ 3.
Before I could comment on my friend’s narrative we were spattered with
mud by passing riders, and stopped to repair the damage to our coats.
“Jolly for my new coat!” I said. “Do you notice, by the way, that they
are cutting men’s tails longer this spring? More becoming to a fellow,
I think.”
He raised those quizzical eyebrows of his and murmured:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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