In the intervals--neither long nor many--between his ministrations at
the Anglo-Américain, Burgoyne hurries back to the Minerva to see that
Byng has not blown his brains out. In the present state of mind of that
young gentleman this catastrophe does not appear to be among the least
likely ones. He has refused to leave Florence, always answering the
suggestion with the same question, "Where else should I go?" and if
pressed, adding invariably in the same words as those employed by him on
the first day of his loss, when his friend had urged the advisability of
his removing his countenance from the beaded stool--"Where shall I find
such recent and authentic traces of her as here?"
He passes his time either on the Lung' Arno, staring at the water, or
stretched face downwards upon his bed. He walks about the town most of
the night, and Jim suspects him of beginning to take chloral.
Occasionally he rouses up into a quick and almost passionate sympathy
with his friend's trouble, asking for nothing better than to be sent on
any errand, however trivial, or however tiresome, in Amelia's behalf.
But no sooner have the immediate effects of the appeal to his
kind-heartedness died away, than he sinks back into his lethargy, and
Jim is at once too much occupied and too miserable to use any very
strenuous endeavours to shake him out of it. But yet the consciousness
of the tacit engagement, under which he lies to the young man's mother,
to look after him, coupled with the absolute impossibility, under his
present circumstances, of fulfilling that engagement, and his uneasiness
as to what new form the insanity of Byng's grief may take on, from day
to day, add very perceptibly to the weight of his own already
sufficiently ponderous burden.
It is the ninth day since Amelia fell sick, that ninth day which, in
maladies such as hers, is, or is at least reckoned to be, the crisis and
turning-point of the disease. Jim has been up all night, and has just
rushed back to the Minerva, for the double purpose of taking a bath, and
of casting an uneasy eye upon his charge. He finds the latter not in his
room, but leaning over the little spiky balcony, out of his window,
hanging over it so far, and so absorbedly, that he does not hear his
friend's approach, and starts violently when Jim lays a hand on his
shoulder.
"What are you looking at?"
"I; oh--nothing particular! What should I be looking at? What is there
to look to? I was only--only--wondering as a mere matter of curiosity,
how many feet it is from here to the pavement? Sixteen? eighteen?
twenty?"
Jim's only answer is to look at him sadly and sternly; then he says
coldly:
"I do not recommend it; it would be a clumsy way of doing it."
"What matter how clumsy the way, so that one attains the end?" asks Byng
extravagantly, throwing off even the thin pretence he had at first
assumed; "who cares how bad the road is so that it leads him to the
goal?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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